It's not Narnia, but there's a window in this closet!

Just cleaned a bunch of 3T and 4T dresses out of my girl's closet...I am in awe of her growth, both physically and emotionally.  Today she wore a dark teal shirt that said "Daddy's Little Darling" w/a purple and black tiger striped ruffled skirt and lavender leggings.  She definitely knows what she wants to wear and has no trouble expressing herself these days (about clothes or otherwise!).  Tomorrow may be our last food related appt at Childrens' and here I sit.  The quiet, nearly speechless little girl w/crooked bangs and a fear of just about everything is gone.  She used to smile all the time b/c it made other people happy and she had no clue how to process all the other emotions.  Heavy emotions she must have been feeling...over the past 4 years, this girl has come to know security and what amounts to never enough love.  She has gone from backing up as far as she could go on the beach to get away from the ocean to striding in and laughing when getting knocked down by the waves.  She used to whimper if you made any kind of motion while holding her - swaying or bouncing would get you a quick death grip and tears! - to loving to bounce on my exercise ball, jump on a trampoline or hang upside down from the rings at the park.  She drinks from her camelbak when she wants, devours ice cream, cottage cheese or animal crackers, asks for bites of some new things...gone are the days of wondering if she even gets hungry or thirsty.  Her legs are so long, her hands still not very steady but writing letters at school, her understanding and questioning more complex, her hearing perfect!  (She often will ask about things we talked about after bedtime...sneaky girl!)  Clearing the dresses out of the closet and dropping her off in first grade make me feel like we've successfully crossed the wobbly rope and plank bridge over rushing waters.  Don't get me wrong, the journey isn't over, I just feel like we've completed one of the challenges on that show Fear Factor!  The contestants would jump up and down (I'm imagining, never saw it) and then they'd turn to them and tell them about the next one.  Right now I'm in the jumping up and down stage - marveling at what God did and what we allowed Him to do.  I'm wishing I could bottle this feeling up for the next leg of the journey, just so I could use it to spur us on.  God is good and if you are clinging for your life on that rope bridge, hearing nothing but the sound of the water crashing on the rocks, I implore you to take a deep breath and remember the last big thing God did in your life.  If you wrack your brain and come up w/nothing, come talk to me.  I have stories of cancer disappearing, tumors that quit growing, babies that were never meant to live seeing years and years of life, empty arms being filled, wombs being opened, money appearing right when needed, hearts softened, families reunited and strengthened and more!!  And I can introduce you to these people - I didn't just hear about them on tv or read about them in a magazine...

This is why I never clean, people.  I wind up thinking too much and crying.  =)  A good cry, but it's hard to get stuff done when you want to tell everyone about the goodness and mercy of the Lord!

The three best decisions I ever made

1.  Decided to follow Jesus

2. Said yes to marrying the curly haired man who brought crossword puzzles to Spanish class in college.

3.  Planted a blackberry bush in the backyard.