Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Merry Christmas 2019 - emoji style!

(Once again, we are not sending Christmas cards out in the traditional way - see the end of this post for more on that...We hope you enjoy this online version! If you regularly read my blog or see my Facebook posts, some of these stories will sound familiar...buckle up - it's a long one!)
When I thought of writing this year's Christmas post, I really wanted to do something out of the box and special.  I kept trying to think of something polished and fancy to present the big emotions I experienced this year.  I finally quit lying to myself and decided that emotions are not scary and hey, you probably have them too, so why not just use emojis for our Christmas letter?!  They can be annoying, I know, but hopefully you'll smile at the ones I've used and it will connect w/you in a different way.  I didn't want to write 'that was bittersweet' after everything, even though it's pretty much true.  When you miss someone who has passed, grief is like the shadow that is there for a while.  "Weren't you happy, wasn't that fun?"  Yes, we were, yes it was, but remember that something can be both happy and sad at the same time.  πŸŽ­  You've seen the masks, right?  Now that I've set the stageπŸ˜‰, please enjoy our year in review.
πŸŒ³πŸ“Έ 2019 got off to a rough start, as I mentioned in the (late) 2018 Christmas post.  My Dad passed away in February...the silver lining in things like funerals is that you get to be with a lot of family and friends to celebrate someone who meant a lot to you.  I selected the tree emoji to represent my roots/family tree/heritage, but also for the branches that remind me how so many others support us and lift us up, especially as we continue to grieve.   Another one of the silver linings for me was going through photos from my childhood - y'all know how I love photos!!  (Again, see last year's Christmas post part 1...)
🀼‍♂️Spring of 2019 saw us busy w/various activities.  Moses and Franklin had lots of gymnastics meets, Colleen participated in Destination Imagination, all 3 boys were involved in wrestling and Moses did Forensics again!  Ask me how many pounds of snacks I packed, how many bleachers we sat on, how many photos I took....it's a big number!!  I'm a happy and proud momma when I see my kids having fun, cheering their teammates on and trying new things.
🏰 Speaking of spring...this was a special year so we splurged on a special spring break vacation!  TO A CASTLE!!!  No one cried or had a bad day b/c it is THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!!  It was a lot of fun and we have my aunt and uncle to thank for helping us pull it off.  I still can't believe we did it...it always seemed like a really big ask, financially and emotionally for our crew.  I'm so glad we did it - it reminded me of when my parents took us kids.  We rode my Dad's favorite ride and I sang "Yo Ho Yo Ho, a Pirate's life for me!" at the top of my lungs, just for him.

 And then...
-------SOMETHING BIG HAPPENED HERE-----
            ------BUT I AM SAVING IT FOR LAST------so...movin' right along...
🌱In May, some friends of my parents organized a tree planting at a park they enjoyed in honor of my Dad.  All the grandkids were so excited to help, pulling burlap off the root balls of these trees and scooping dirt in the hole!  I haven't been back yet, but I can't wait to camp in that park and visit Dad's trees!
⚾🀸🏿‍♂️ Late spring brought baseball and more gymnastics into our lives.  Three boys in baseball plus an unusually rainy season meant a lot of makeup games jammed in between the regularly scheduled ones...which led to me purchasing a new lawn chair!  If I have to sit in it, my fanny should fit in it!  πŸ€ͺ  We really enjoyed getting to know a lot of families through baseball and Moses' team was quite successful, playing in the post season.
🎑♎ (closest thing to an arch I could find!)  Over Memorial Day weekend we took a road trip to St. Louis.  We had 2 specific things in mind - the arch and The City Museum.  There really needs to be more emojis for The City Museum!  If you have been, you know what I mean.  If you have not, GET YOURSELF TO ST. LOUIS and check it out!!  Start by visiting their website and then go.  Seriously.  We have been there multiple times and every time I struggle w/the cost but I always see the fun my family has and I never regret it.  This time I was confident enough that Moses remembered the tunnels and such that I just let him go.  He was able to show the other kids a lot of cool things!  I am not much for the climbing these days but Dave's sense of adventure means he might get stuck in a tube while I take photos for posterity!

πŸ…πŸ•️ In June, Franklin and Moses participated in the YMCA gymnastics Nationals!!  They were held in Wisconsin Dells this year, making it cost effective for us to attend.  We picked a camping spot and played tourist in the off times.  We took a Dells boat ride, watched the teams march in before the Tommy Bartlett Show, made s'mores and rested up for the tournament.  It was a neat experience to see teams from all over the country enjoying the Dells and all it has to offer.  Then in July Colleen attended her first sleep away camp...It's called Camp Daniel and it's a very special camp for people with disabilities.  Her friend from school invited her.  She actually wrote me a letter to invite Colleen, which made me happy cry for all sorts of reasons!  It was a blessing to know that her friend would be there the same week.  After the week was over, Colleen commented on how their were other kids who had some of the same struggles as her participating in the camp.  I think it made her feel more confident!  You can imagine all the emotions I had tumbling about w/one of my children out of my reach for a week, but then seeing how this camp made her feel emotionally sort of made me put mine in check.  It was worth it, though, and that's what matters.
πŸ‘¨‍πŸ‘©‍πŸ‘§‍πŸ‘¦⛰️πŸ₯ΎπŸ‡πŸΎπŸšž We kicked off August with a huge family reunion weekend - how many cousins and 2nd cousins can fit in a hammock? 
There were games, good foods, photos shared by one of my aunties and hugs and tears and so much laughter!!  By the end of the weekend, I was exhausted!  Since there's no tired like on the road tired, we followed the weekend up w/a trip to Colorado!  Once again we stayed at the YMCA of the Rockies.  We did lots of activities there like horseback riding, playing sports, fishing and hiking.  (The rain did not stop us!  Everyone made fun of me since I bought dollar store ponchos to wear while on Disney's water rides.  I was the only one who wore one on those rides.  On this trip everyone suddenly wanted my ponchos!!  Lucky for them, Mom doesn't unpack little things like ponchos!🀣)  We also hiked up Mt Evans and rode the Royal Gorge breakfast train through the mountains - I got the tastiest quinoa pancakes!

🚼🍼🏈As the summer came to a close, the talk of the house was about 2 things - me babysitting a friend's baby part time during the school year and flag football.  I get the pleasure of baby Mercedes' company (not her real name!) three days a week.  Do you know how cool babies are?  I could talk your ear off about that, you already know....the best part of this deal is seeing this family develop and cheering them on.  Knowing Mercedes' parents means we see how they are invested in her and what character traits they are modeling.  It's different than foster care for a lot of reasons, obviously, but the same in that you can never go wrong in encouraging a family!
πŸ› ️🚽🀝 Fall - a perfect time to remodel the bathroom we never really intended to remodel...🀷🏻 We discovered the main sink we use in the bathroom had a leak, which led to a wet cabinet underneath.  Not just wet, soaked, moldy and disintegrating!!!  It was bad.  It needed immediate attention.  Dave is handy but he felt it was a bit above his paygrade and he didn't have time to dedicate to the project to get it done quickly enough.  Lucky for us, a friend from church was available!  He put in new counter, new pipes, new cabinets...and then Dave decided we needed a new toilet.  It seemed like a coincidence that some friends were trying to sell theirs on FB marketplace!  So we bought that and our friend from church installed that too.  We feel like grownups now, having our first major interior house project done.  We also bought a new piece of furniture to store our board/card game collection and dipped our toes into some interior decorating.  Starting to look a little better around here!  Some day - we'll tackle that kitchen!!
🦑🏈 You guys!!!  They have a Badger emoji!  He's so cute!  This was the first year we took all of the kids to a major sporting event.  Dave and I had our first date to a Badger game almost exactly 20 years earlier, the opponent was the same and history was made both nights.  (1999 - when the Jump Around tradition started and 2019 - longest field goal.)  We were excited to share the experience w/Dave's mom, who is an alumni!  Many times we have taken the kids to see the band as they pump everyone up before a game and then we would leave campus.  The kids were always sad that everyone else got to go in to the stadium and we only saw the band.  Not this time!  We made a pit stop to add more layers and were in our seats before kickoff.  πŸ˜Š  We had fun jumping around, seeing Moses on the jumbotron (his teachers even saw him from somewhere in the stadium!), and shaking hands w/players afterward.  I call this a huge win for our family - the kids are maturing, finding ways to regulate themselves in these situations and communicating w/us so much better.  (When you're wearing a million layers and there's a line to go pee, you need to give the grown ups a little lead time on bathroom breaks, you know what I mean?)  This was another event that left my heart feeling a mess of emotions - happy memories of life before kids, happy new memories made, a few tears for not being able to tell my Dad about the great day, a little anxiety over how it would turn out, etc.  It was definitely another one of those times I just hung on for the ride!
πŸ€πŸ§ As we close out 2019, the kids have begun 2 new activities.  Moses joined the 8th grade basketball team.  The other night he made his first shot ever!  So fun to see the kids try new things.  Colleen, Franklin and Ezra are all in Destination Imagination this year.  It is Colleen's second year and the boys' first.  DI is really neat in that it's like teams competing, using their brains on instant challenges and are judged on skits they present, showing how they solve a specific problem.  I'm learning a lot as a helper for Franklin's team.  I can't wait to see what all the kids' teams are cooking up for the tournament in spring!

Now, I cannot finish this letter w/o mentioning possibly the most emotional event of the year...
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(Don't ya just hate cliffhangers?)
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♾️πŸ“œπŸ’•πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚πŸŽ‚πŸ₯³πŸŽŠ I had to resist putting ALLLLLLLL the emojis for this one!!  There was another HUGE event in spring...OUR ADOPTION BECAME FINAL!!!  We are now FOREVER family (to infinity and beyond!), with papers to prove it...We were so blessed to share the day w/family and party w/family and friends the day after.  Our hearts were so full and I felt like my face was going to crack from smiling so big!!  From now on, Bert and Ernie shall be known as their true names, Franklin and Ezra!
Ezra in white and Franklin in blue
These dapper dudes bring us such joy...they have waited so long to be part of a forever family.  There were many stutter steps along the way.  People promised them things and did not deliver.  Their trust was broken more than once.  People left their lives at an alarming rate.  It was not ok.  They were not ok.  They are still recovering from all of that junk and then some.  Make no mistake, finalizing adoption does not mean they suddenly live the happiest of lives.  Every day we all work together as a family to build bonds that LORD WILLING will some day be viewed as unbreakable, unchanging, and unshakeable.  But to be able to go into a court house and have someone validate what we are working towards is priceless.  A gavel banged and no one can tell us we do not belong together.  We are family!
❤️❤️From our family to yours, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!❤️❤️
❤️Here's to building strong relationships, friendships, and families in 2020!!❤️
We hope you enjoyed this green version of our Christmas card! (If you still wish to receive a paper copy, leave a comment.) There are lots of reasons we decided to do things differently this year (again!)...here's a few:
1) Save postage. We love you, but we're cheap!
2) Save paper. You just recycle those cards after you read them...you do recycle them eventually, don't you??
3) Save printing costs. See reason #1!
4) Save stress. Nothing to print, sign, stuff, address...
5) Expand our options! Now you can see a practically limitless amount of photos.
6) Our greeting to you is saved in cyber-space for posterity! 
7) It went so well the past years...we heard a lot of positive responses, and even some people who said they'd try it themselves. Welcome to the dark (green) side! (Sorry that was a goofy Star Wars joke...)

Monday, April 8, 2019

Adoption party details!!

Dear family and friends,
The invitation you received just didn't have enough room to say all the things I had hoped to say!  You know I like to talk a lot so....yeah...I thought of putting a separate paper in the envelope, but it was actually Dave's idea to put it here.  This way the info shared might actually help others too. 
Not everyone has experience w/adoption and not everyone fully understands the complexities of it.  That's understandable but we hope to help everyone better understand some of the emotions and expectations for our celebration.  Please keep in mind that this is NOT a criticism of anyone or anything that has happened in the past.  If you find, after reading this, that you have said or done something that may have not been ideal - it's forgiven!  We are not easily offended, and if we were, we would have told you.  We are all about teaching people new ways to handle what may be new-to-you situations.
First of all, we are SUPER excited for adoption day!!  We like to call it family forever day too, but not gotcha day (long story for another time...)  One thing we'd like everyone to keep in mind, though, is that for the boys, finalizing adoption actually brings up conflicting feelings.  They're happy, yes, but at the same time there is a sense of grief.  It's like a door is closed on their birth family - the possibility of them getting back together is officially dead.  For some kids, the fantasy of their birth family being complete and together is hard to give up.  It's difficult to understand why they can't live w/someone, no matter the circumstances. Also, at times adoption can trigger feelings and perceptions of not being wanted by a birth parent or the whole birth family.  So while the rest of us only see or feel the happy parts, the kids are processing a bubbling pot of emotions of sorts.  Others have explained this better than me - please click the link and read an article by the Boston Post Adoption Resources.   All this to say, if the boys don't seem as happy as we or you are at the party, don't take it personally.  It's best to show up, join in the games and not make too big a deal out of it if they aren't 100% smiles the whole time.
The next thing we like to bring up is the language of adoption.   I think by now most people know not to say 'real mom' for birth mom.  If you catch yourself saying 'real mom', fix it quick!  You get a re-do!  The language of adoption is easy to learn =)  Many times people say other things and their intentions are well-meaning.  For example..."They (the kids) are so lucky to have you (the adoptive parents)!"  Most kids who have come through the foster care system are anything but lucky.  They have suffered trauma, loss, and a whole lot of other hurtful stuff.  Granted, their circumstances are better upon adoption, but I'd hardly call that lucky.  Also, let's give a little credit to the social workers who have pored over files to find a match for children who suffered such trauma and loss!  It was not luck or random coincidence that they found a family who seemed prepared and ready for the challenge.  (Shout out to Tammi Kohlman, Cathleen Cotter, Megan Pena, Jesse Schuller-Hosking and Michelle Neal!)  Ultimately, we feel that it is God who has orchestrated and planned our family better than any one person or team of people could have ever done.  Anyway, there are lots of comments that come across as 'wrong' to an adoptive family but for the most part we understand it's just b/c the person who said it doesn't know better (YET!).  The best thing you can say to a foster or adoptive family is this: "You have a beautiful family".  =)  For a few other 'what not to say, say this instead' type of lists, you can click HERE, HERE, or HERE.
Alright, what else?  The invite says NO GIFTS and WE MEAN IT.  Most of our family parties are no gift parties - it's honestly easier that way.  We are there to celebrate family, not stress people out about bringing a physical token of their love. There are so many other ways you can support us as a family and show us your love!  Chances are, if you are on the guest list, you are praying for us, supporting us, and loving on us in some way already!  Thank you for that!!  We cannot wait to make memories w/everyone at the party!  We have some cool games to play w/both grown ups and kids in mind! Please don't forget your entry to the art show - make sure you autograph it too.  We're hoping to put the entries together as a guest book of sorts!  There will be a spot for family photos as well and we hope you'll join us in using it!  AHHH!!!  I'm wishing I could fast forward to the party right now - we are so blessed by all of you and can't wait to share the day w/you!  See you then!!

Sunday, February 24, 2019

Merry Christmas 2018 (part 2)/New Year (Ready or not, here it comes!)

The year 2018 was full one!  I feel like it was more than one year shoved into one.  We made some treasured memories and certainly had our share of emotional ups and downs.  I think I've been avoiding writing about it...which is probably why I wrote part 1 of our Christmas post a little differently than in past years.  This part is nothing fancy though - just a simple year in review!
January - we added a member to our family!  I'm a sucker for dogs and for years would show Dave puppies or dogs on rescue sites and he'd say, "Get it."  I was the one who listed the reasons why we shouldn't get a dog.  Finally I found one that was PERFECT for us, I actually applied and we were approved, they drove her up here from Memphis and ta-da!  We're dog owners!
February - Gymnastics was in full swing for Moses and Bert but Moses also tried something new this month.  Forensics!  For those of you not familiar w/it, it's basically a public speaking competition.  Most of my 7 readers probably knew me and already knew that though - I was in Forensics growing up.  Moses did a group category and joined some girls in putting on a short skit.  They traveled to other schools for competition and at the end of the season, performed for friends and family.
March - this month brought another first for Moses.  He joined the wrestling team!  And - get this - my loud mouth cheering style wasn't out of place in the stands!!  I have always been the girl who enjoyed football, hockey, basketball...now we're all learning about wrestling.  It was a tough season, being his first, but his face when he won his first match was PRICELESS.  He knows that winning isn't what makes us proud, but the fact that he exhibited signs of progress and persevered at something he found difficult.  We also were very proud of him for cheering on his teammates and being encouraging to all.  In fact, one of the other parents commented on how much they thought highly of our son for that.  Considering that we are still relatively new here, that's a pretty good impression to be making!
April - the weather started to turn this month and we began again towards Dave's goal of hiking all segments of the Ice Age Trail.  This time w/a dog!  She is a great hiker and explorer, super friendly to anyone we meet on the trail and LOVES sniffing every darn thing.  We are making progress and hope to continue this year.
May - as I'm typing this, I realize there were a lot of firsts this past year.  For the first time since I can remember, this was the first year we didn't really plan a big summer road trip.  Why am I mentioning that in May, you are thinking...?  Because May is when baseball started.  I have 3 boys.  All on different teams.  Which means 3 diff. practice schedules, 3 diff. game schedules, 3 diff. uniforms to wash...but also 3 super excited boys!!  It rained a lot in the beginning, so a number of things were canceled.  After a particularly wet week, we got the notice that the fields were finally dry and games were ON.  I relayed the message to my boys and they huddled up, dancing, singing, cheering!!  I caught it on camera and they love watching that video!!  Another first in May was that my sweet girl Colleen had her middle school intro night.  We checked out her classes, practiced opening a locker and tested out band instruments.  She tried a euphonium/tuba, a trombone and a trumpet, choosing the trumpet!!
June - we had a visit from Nana and Dave's sister's family.  It's such a joy to see how the cousins are best buddies - it reminds me of growing up w/my cousins.  It's a real blessing when your family is made up of some people you would choose as friends anyway =)  June brought more baseball, of course, but all 3 boys gained more confidence and understanding of the game too.  We also met up w/some special family at Titletown for some fun and games!  WOWEE ZOWEE is that a neat place!!
July -  We finally got to some good camping and boating in our great state and the boys competed in my hometown's Dirty Ninja Mud Run again.  It officially felt like summer and we did our best to enjoy every minute of it!
August - Back in the day...Dave and I used to rent little cottages on a lake and vacation that way...before campers, before kids...it was nice to have a kitchen and nothing to set up.  He suggested that kind of vacation again, since the camper floor was needing repair and 4 kids - need we say more?  I worried about the price but he found a little lake house nearby.  It was an excellent choice!!  The kids loved the paddle boat, kayak, stand up paddle boards, etc...We spent a lot of time on the water!!  My fishergirl sat on a paddle board while her brothers paddled her around...the dog hung out on the deck (she's still scared of water!) and even got rides on the kayak once in a while.  We boated out to swim and played games on the deck while watching the sun set.  As we were there, I stumbled on someone w/barn cats (we were in the market since Peyton cat had disappeared months after moving in w/us) and it turned out the woman lived near the lake house!!  We packed up and picked up a kitten on the way home.  (I think we are the only goofballs who do stuff like this, maybe I'm wrong, but oh the stories my kids can tell!)  After much discussion, the new kitty was named Bucky due to the stripes on his head and our loyalty to the state in which we live.  Homer cat didn't quite take to Bucky at first but the two are fun playmates now!  And the best part is that Bucky and the dog are growing up together, so they are definitely buddies too!  A second trip to Titletown was made in August as we attended family night hosted by THE BEST FOOTBALL TEAM IN THE WORLD.  If you live here, there's a line in your baby book that says '1st visit to Lambeau Field'.  Now all my children have that line filled in =)
September - I stood up in my cousin's wedding.  She is one of my best friends and I have never seen this girl so happy!! It was a beautiful day and a the location was gorgeous.  There were lots of fancy good looking people getting their photos taken at sunset and lots of laughs later w/family and friends.  Speaking of photos - we had family photos taken by a friend!  I haven't shared them yet - we're waiting on another big event to do so, but there's one w/a chicken, cat and dog in it!  That's how we roll!
October - another great month to go hiking on the IAT.  Not too cold, not too hot...lots of leaves to admire.  We started talking about spring break and the possibility of a big trip.  Usually by the end of summer, we start getting the itch to plan future travel, so this was a little late for us.  I found tickets for $102 to our destination of choice but hesitated to but them.  I wanted to sleep on it and be SURE that was a commitment we were ready to make.  I'm guessing you know the end of this story - they were much higher next time!  So we had lots of alternate plans we cooked up...which meant some late nights talking about vacations =)  Our favorite topic!
November - One of the best parts of November is of course Thanksgiving but also participating in the Christmas parade w/church!  This year the kids got to ride on the trailer!  They took their job pretty seriously.  Last year Bert was not a fan of the dark but this year he knew what to expect and enjoyed it a lot more.
December - This is always a chaotic month but this year the weather was very unusual.  It was warmer and there was barely any snow!  For a snow lover like me, that's unfortunate.  We did get a chance to go west to visit family who had but it wasn't the same.  Still, we made gingerbread houses, painted a Christmas village, ate good food and watched various Christmas programs.  The dog got a bath!  First bath ever!  She has been dumped in the lake and what not in the past, but never officially washed.  She did pretty good, considering she hates water!  We had to wait until Jan 1 to go on our annual Christmas walk in the woods, but it was worth it.  We started the new year in the best way...


Now we're two months into 2019 and it's been a heavy year already.  When I started writing this post, my Dad was suffering from the effects of amyloidosis.  His heart was struggling and mine was breaking.  I tried to write some of this post while visiting him in hospice, but when I went back and read it, I realized my brain was on auto pilot.  He has since passed, and I have returned to edit this post.  To be honest, right now I feel a strong dislike for this year - I can't even imagine writing the next Christmas post...I love my Dad and I've always been Daddy's girl.  None of this is easy.  And to be honest, I wasn't sure I was even going to put anything in the Christmas posts about this b/c I thought it would drag everyone down.  I don't like that.  I like throwing humor around and getting people to lighten up.  But this is our real life, and not every Christmas letter is 100% cheer-filled with rainbows and anecdotes about our perfect family.   On the flip side, the joy of being with my kids and the hope of things to come keep me afloat.  We've recently celebrated another wedding, there's 2 babies on the way, spring break is a̶l̶l̶  *mostly* planned and we have 1 step left before adoption day!  The fact that I have all these good things from the past year to reflect on and then some tough stuff too is an accurate depiction of our world right now. Friends, I pray this next year includes hope and joy for you!  I am sure your life is not w/o struggles but please know that you are not on this road alone.  Let me know if you want to chat - we can share our joys and struggles!  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!
PS - I'm sorry that this year's post didn't include many photos.  I don't feel like chasing them down...I had every intention of tossing in a couple, but w/my Dad's passing, I don't think that will happen for a while.  I have some modest goals for my blog this year...beginning w/posting more often!  I already have 3 posts this year which means I have tied the number of times I posted last year - winning!  It's  only the end of Feb and I've already made great progress on achieving my goal! 

Merry Christmas 2018 (part 1)

(Once again, we are not sending Christmas cards out in the traditional way - see the end of this post for more on that...We hope you enjoy this online version! If you know the story of Dave and Mel, some of this might sound familiar.  Either way - buckle up - it's a long one!)
To our children - Since your Dad and I have spent half of our lives together building our own family (apart from the wonderful ones we came from) and since I'm a sentimental sap!, this year's Christmas post is going to be a little different.  We are about to make Bert and Ernie's adoption official (FINALLY!!!)...I feel like every time something large like this happens in our family, it causes me to look back at how we arrived at this point.  Consider this a personal history of how your family began and changed over the years!

Our First Christmas (Dating)
The first Christmas photo of your mom and Dad!  All fresh faced and carefree!  We had been dating about 3 months but that didn't stop us from joining each other's family Christmas celebrations.  We spent time in Madison too, where your Uncle Carl lived.  We took some goofy photos in the state capitol building but this is a pretty nice shot.  Would you believe that we already had a conversation about marriage at this point?  If you knew us then, you would have believed it!!  Once, I told Dad that I wanted 13 kids and he didn't get scared off.  That was when I knew he was perfect for me!! 

Our Second Christmas Together (Newlyweds)
If you're thinking, geez louise, that was fast - YEP!  Just after Christmas of '98 we got engaged and then married in the following summer!  It just so happened that we were both in school, needing to do some credits in a Spanish speaking country.  Right after Christmas we hopped on a plane and moved in w/our host mom.  Someone else stole the camera and snuck this pic of us - ay yi yi!!  Look at that hair!!!  It's hard to believe that was us...but I actually appreciated finding this photo - I take a lot of pics but I'm only IN a few of them. 


Our Third Christmas Together
Christmas that year felt like a double celebration!  I got a job right out of school too, that was icing on the cake!  It was one of my favorite times - lots of memories that are precious to me.  It was also a time of change - thinking of moving again, finding a place to put down some roots.  It was easy to think about moving during this stage of life since it was just us two!  
Our Fourth Christmas Together 
HA!  Yes I did just put those side by side - see the theme?  Another double celebration!  And more hair!!  At this point we had moved for my job and Dad's student teaching, so the future was a little less open ended.  
Our Fifth Christmas Together (First as homeowners)
This was a sweet Christmas - IN A HOUSE!!!  THAT WE BOUGHT!!!  W/help, of course...oh man, I'm telling you, Christmas in a house was a learning curve!  We brought the real tree inside while it was wrapped, so when we went to remove it, it didn't fit through the door!  I never laughed so hard...I have photos of your Dad using a saw to cut branches off inside the living room!!  

Our Sixth Christmas Together
By this point, we had found a great group of friends at church and one sneaky little lady asked us if we would be in a Christmas musical with the kids.  She told each of us couples that the others had already said yes and pressured us into doing it too!  (I'm telling it like it is, the others can testify to this!)  When we each heard the others had said yes (they hadn't yet), we said yes ourselves and lo and behold, she had all the adult parts filled!  We had to dress up and dance (I still can't Charleston!), practice our parts, and perform in front of the whole church!!  It was fantastic fun and we miss that group TERRIBLY and FIERCELY.  No regrets.  Grateful for the memories and so glad that woman conned us all!! 
Our Seventh Christmas
Well, I couldn't find a photo for 2004, please forgive me! In fact, I couldn't find many from that year at all??  Odd.  But I think it was that weird phase where we stopped printing from film cameras and started using digital cameras (or maybe our first cell phone camera?).  At any rate, they didn't print up so well and I have no idea if they are saved somewhere...*shrugs* - I plan to investigate further but in the interests of getting this post up sooner - let's just move on!

 Our Eighth Christmas Together For the first time - we shared our Christmas w/someone new!!  There is no joy quite like baby's first Christmas, am I right?  Mo, you're wearing the Santa suit Dad wore when he was a month old!  It was a lot of fun taking you to the mall and getting your photo done!  Little did we know how much our joy would increase each Christmas to come w/kids.
Our Ninth Christmas Together
I'm also lacking a photo from the next year - our 9th Christmas.  I found one pic of 'the baby' drooling while wearing a Rudolf hat, but it was clear he was teething and not a great shot.  On to the next!


Our Tenth Christmas Together


I absolutely love this pic.  We fixed up 2 rooms in preparation for foster children to join our family.  Auntie Becky's parents had some extra furniture and bedding and blessed us by passing it on.  We needed to put together a book showing potential future kids what our house looked like, what we looked like, and what we like to do.  We were so excited!!!  Mo, you kept asking when your brothers were going to come (didn't really ask for sisters, I wonder why?) and we just waited for the phone to ring.

Our Eleventh Christmas Together (First as Foster Parents)
Ta-da!  And just like that we were a family of 4!  Having 2 boys pretty close in age was fun.  There were times I'd dress you in matching motorcycle shirts or let you use drumsticks on coffee cans...then we'd be out in the yard playing w/all kinds of balls and Mo would pull the little guy in the sled.  You both loved dancing around during music time at church and testing out the piano keys.  There were twice as many presents under the tree that year and our hearts were definitely full!


Our Twelfth Christmas Together
Oh my word.  You guys!!  When I stumbled onto these pictures I nearly cried...happy tears!!  In the August before this year, we met our sweet girl.  You were so small!!  I think in part due to your tube/medical need, I didn't really have it all together that year.  Fancy Christmas pics were not a priority!  This one is from a trip to a museum where we all crammed in a large human powered fan or something.  Baby girl, you didn't get the point of selfies, but look at those cheeks!  I remember how you would toddle after Mo, calling his name in your baby talk, trying to keep up in your foot braces.  It seems so far away and yet so easy to remember, how can that be?
Our Thirteenth Christmas Together
These special photos bring back memories!  We took them after the kids' Christmas program at church.  I'll never forget it b/c at one point Mo discovered they were projecting the program on the big screen behind the kids, so he got excited and started clowning around to see himself!  Colleen, you just talked, laughed and were pretty oblivious to everything else.  I'm sure you sang a little but it was so cute to see you up there w/your peers!  Shortly after this Christmas our adoption became final and we officially/legally became parents to you 2 kids forever!

Our Fourteenth Christmas Together
Two sweet kids joined our family for this Christmas - the girl is almost the exact same age as Colleen and suddenly I needed to learn how to do girl hair!  We had experienced 4 kids in the house before, but it was the first time one of them wasn't a teen.  So....yeah....we fumbled around a bit, trying to contain 4 little people and the drama that comes w/it, but I remember the baby gasping every time he saw presents, or Santa, or anything 'pretty' like the Christmas tree display at Shopko!  I also remember taking you kids to the Dollar Store and letting you pick out presents for each other...so sweet.  To see and hear what you thought your siblings would like and why really helped change my perspective.
Our Fifteenth Christmas Together
This picture may look similar to the last.  Our family held steady and didn't change much over the year.  The baby learned some new words, the girls started sharing a room, and Mo, you happily looked out for your sisters at school.  You reveled in the fact that the girls treated you like a celebrity - waving and pointing you out to their friends every time they saw you =)  
Our Sixteenth Christmas Together
Hmmm...I found no photo again.  I know that we decided to take a break from foster care and re-apply to adopt.  We filled out another fat packet and requested another home study.  And the waiting began all over again...

Our Seventeenth Christmas Together
We moved!  Literally, over Christmas break.  I don't recommend it.  BUT - we were sooooo excited to be in the new house that we didn't want to wait!  We had another home study done on the new house - before we left the old one, we had been 'matched' w/some kids who were waiting to be adopted.  We did a lot of praying and none of the cases they presented to us worked out for various reasons, some on the kids' part and some on ours.  Some we felt relief about, for others, we were disappointed.  Either way, we were happy to keep in touch w/the social worker and grateful they were considering us for some more children.  
Our Eighteenth Christmas Together
Before Christmas, we met a pair of brothers who we thought might be a good fit for our family!  We visited w/them over Christmas break and got to know them better.  It turns out it was our last Christmas as a family of 4.  We continued our (1 year old) tradition of hiking in the woods on Christmas Day and that's where we took this goofy photo.  
Our Eighteenth Christmas Together (part 2)
I could not let the last photo stand alone!  As I said, we visited the boys over Christmas break and guess what?  We took our first family (of 6!) photo!!  When I got home and looked at the pics, I cried b/c I couldn't believe how good it felt to see us together.  It felt like a good match - they are active and silly just like the rest of us!  I felt like we were ready, at the time.  One of the first weeks they lived w/us, one of the boys got mad that there were no pics on the wall of him.  This was one of the first photos I put up, making sure to have as many of Bert and Ernie as the other kids.
Our Nineteenth Christmas Together
I'm not gonna lie, the first year w/the boys was a blur.  The one family shot I have from Christmas is blurry - ironic, no? - and I remember it being very chaotic.  It's hard to grasp how something as fun as Christmas can be so stress-inducing for people w/trauma in their background.  I think it caught me off guard since none of our other placements had experienced such deep trauma.  What I remember most about that Christmas was the way our extended family was there for us.  They supported us, encouraged us, treated us no different than they had any other Christmas even though we were fumbling to figure it all out.  We have the best family!

Our Twentieth Christmas Together
By this time, Nana had moved to LaCrosse, near Auntie Liz and family, so we went over there early to check out the new house.  I decided that her stairwell was the perfect place to take a family photo! Kids, remember how many takes this took?....or did you erase that disaster from your memory?....I'm not a great photographer and I'm hyper-critical of myself, so I realize now that the angle is weird (you're looking up at us!) but I was still proud of me for getting a family pic where no one seemed too washed out or too much in the shadows.  Kinda hard for trans-racial families!!  
Our Twenty-first Christmas Together
Back in late 2016, a dramatic, funny, about-a-family-but-not-necessarily-for-your-whole-family type of show premiered.  The series follows the lives and families of two parents, and their three children, in several different time frames.  (It also includes grandkids and grandparents along the way.)  There's themes of transracial adoption, anxiety/stress, relationships, struggles w/weight and infertility, parenting, grief and loss, etc.  A lot of big emotions woven throughout some powerful scenes...but basically, it's the story of a family.  So many people can find something to identify with and something that touches them - it's become very popular in the past 2 years!  In fact, when they killed off one of the characters, the whole crock pot industry took a hit.  I'm not really sure if the makers of Instant Pots paid the writers to put that in the show, but some conspiracy theorists are probably out there!  (Sorry, if you didn't watch the show, spoiler alert!  Chances are you could probably ask someone w/in 5 feet of you though and get caught up if you wanted.  It was the hot topic of many conversations for a while!!)  The reason I bring up the show, though, is that I feel like this post is an attempt to say 'This is us'.  You will not find a perfect family in our Christmas post.  You will not find a straight line to how we got here.  You will not find only joy, but a reality that includes the gamut of other emotions.  This family may not yet be complete, but here we are.  Kids, after spending half our lives together, your Dad and I are blessed, proud and happy that our family includes you!  Merry Christmas to you and the others that have made it to the end of this post!  Here's to many more!!
We hope you enjoyed this green version of our Christmas card! (If you still wish to receive a paper copy, leave a comment.) There are lots of reasons we decided to do things differently this year (again!)...here's a few:
1) Save postage. We love you, but we're cheap!
2) Save paper. You just recycle those cards after you read them...you do recycle them eventually, don't you??
3) Save printing costs. See reason #1!
4) Save stress. Nothing to print, sign, stuff, address...
5) Expand our options! Now you can see a practically limitless amount of photos.
6) Our greeting to you is saved in cyber-space for posterity! 
7) It went so well the past years...we heard a lot of positive responses, and even some people who said they'd try it themselves. Welcome to the dark (green) side! (Sorry that was a goofy Star Wars joke...)

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Coming soon....to a blog near you....

In general, my life is discombobulated.  I'm kind of flaky and all over the map.  Right now, I am really frustrated w/myself b/c before Christmas I started a post/Christmas card on the blog...I knew I wasn't going to finish it on time and I was giving myself grace for various reasons, the first of which is that I'm flaky and all over the map!  I got almost all the way done w/it and then I just wasn't feeling it.  If it was paper I would have crumpled it and chucked it!  I am still deciding if I should post it or not.  I am, however, going to write up something else and get that up soon.  Ish.  That's not what I came here to write about though.
THERE IS NEWS IN ADOPTION LAND PEOPLE!!
All appeals are DONE.  Nothing but paperwork and waiting for a date remain.  Bert and Ernie will become members of this family PERMANENTLY and LEGALLY soon.  SOON.  For once I can say that and mean it =)  Bert is mad that it's still taking too long.  He really doesn't want to talk about it much.  I don't blame him since we've been saying it would happen for a long time and it still hasn't, even w/this news.  Ernie fluctuates between helping plan the party, grief over loss of/connection to first family, mad it hasn't happened yet, and just plain joy that it will happen!!  He's a little discombobulated too =)  2019 has been a wild ride already...
...I still want to post a 2018 recap/Christmas letter.  Right now it's looking like it's going to be 2 parts.  Maybe 3.  Every time I sit down to write, it gets longer!!  I have a lot to say, mostly so we can look back and remember what was important to us.  I know I could accomplish that in other ways, but this is currently my chosen outlet or method of delivery.  At any rate - please celebrate the adoption news w/us!  Go hug someone and tell them you are glad they're in your life!