To our children - Since your Dad and I have spent half of our lives together building our own family (apart from the wonderful ones we came from) and since I'm a sentimental sap!, this year's Christmas post is going to be a little different. We are about to make Bert and Ernie's adoption official (FINALLY!!!)...I feel like every time something large like this happens in our family, it causes me to look back at how we arrived at this point. Consider this a personal history of how your family began and changed over the years!
Our First Christmas (Dating)
The first Christmas photo of your mom and Dad! All fresh faced and carefree! We had been dating about 3 months but that didn't stop us from joining each other's family Christmas celebrations. We spent time in Madison too, where your Uncle Carl lived. We took some goofy photos in the state capitol building but this is a pretty nice shot. Would you believe that we already had a conversation about marriage at this point? If you knew us then, you would have believed it!! Once, I told Dad that I wanted 13 kids and he didn't get scared off. That was when I knew he was perfect for me!!
Our Second Christmas Together (Newlyweds)
If you're thinking, geez louise, that was fast - YEP! Just after Christmas of '98 we got engaged and then married in the following summer! It just so happened that we were both in school, needing to do some credits in a Spanish speaking country. Right after Christmas we hopped on a plane and moved in w/our host mom. Someone else stole the camera and snuck this pic of us - ay yi yi!! Look at that hair!!! It's hard to believe that was us...but I actually appreciated finding this photo - I take a lot of pics but I'm only IN a few of them.
Our Third Christmas Together
Christmas that year felt like a double celebration! I got a job right out of school too, that was icing on the cake! It was one of my favorite times - lots of memories that are precious to me. It was also a time of change - thinking of moving again, finding a place to put down some roots. It was easy to think about moving during this stage of life since it was just us two!
Our Fourth Christmas Together
HA! Yes I did just put those side by side - see the theme? Another double celebration! And more hair!! At this point we had moved for my job and Dad's student teaching, so the future was a little less open ended.
Our Fifth Christmas Together (First as homeowners)
This was a sweet Christmas - IN A HOUSE!!! THAT WE BOUGHT!!! W/help, of course...oh man, I'm telling you, Christmas in a house was a learning curve! We brought the real tree inside while it was wrapped, so when we went to remove it, it didn't fit through the door! I never laughed so hard...I have photos of your Dad using a saw to cut branches off inside the living room!!
Our Sixth Christmas Together
By this point, we had found a great group of friends at church and one sneaky little lady asked us if we would be in a Christmas musical with the kids. She told each of us couples that the others had already said yes and pressured us into doing it too! (I'm telling it like it is, the others can testify to this!) When we each heard the others had said yes (they hadn't yet), we said yes ourselves and lo and behold, she had all the adult parts filled! We had to dress up and dance (I still can't Charleston!), practice our parts, and perform in front of the whole church!! It was fantastic fun and we miss that group TERRIBLY and FIERCELY. No regrets. Grateful for the memories and so glad that woman conned us all!!
Our Seventh Christmas
Well, I couldn't find a photo for 2004, please forgive me! In fact, I couldn't find many from that year at all?? Odd. But I think it was that weird phase where we stopped printing from film cameras and started using digital cameras (or maybe our first cell phone camera?). At any rate, they didn't print up so well and I have no idea if they are saved somewhere...*shrugs* - I plan to investigate further but in the interests of getting this post up sooner - let's just move on!
Our Eighth Christmas Together 
For the first time - we shared our Christmas w/someone new!! There is no joy quite like baby's first Christmas, am I right? Mo, you're wearing the Santa suit Dad wore when he was a month old! It was a lot of fun taking you to the mall and getting your photo done! Little did we know how much our joy would increase each Christmas to come w/kids.
For the first time - we shared our Christmas w/someone new!! There is no joy quite like baby's first Christmas, am I right? Mo, you're wearing the Santa suit Dad wore when he was a month old! It was a lot of fun taking you to the mall and getting your photo done! Little did we know how much our joy would increase each Christmas to come w/kids.
Our Ninth Christmas Together
I'm also lacking a photo from the next year - our 9th Christmas. I found one pic of 'the baby' drooling while wearing a Rudolf hat, but it was clear he was teething and not a great shot. On to the next!
Our Tenth Christmas Together
I absolutely love this pic. We fixed up 2 rooms in preparation for foster children to join our family. Auntie Becky's parents had some extra furniture and bedding and blessed us by passing it on. We needed to put together a book showing potential future kids what our house looked like, what we looked like, and what we like to do. We were so excited!!! Mo, you kept asking when your brothers were going to come (didn't really ask for sisters, I wonder why?) and we just waited for the phone to ring.
Our Eleventh Christmas Together (First as Foster Parents)
Ta-da! And just like that we were a family of 4! Having 2 boys pretty close in age was fun. There were times I'd dress you in matching motorcycle shirts or let you use drumsticks on coffee cans...then we'd be out in the yard playing w/all kinds of balls and Mo would pull the little guy in the sled. You both loved dancing around during music time at church and testing out the piano keys. There were twice as many presents under the tree that year and our hearts were definitely full!
Our Twelfth Christmas Together
Oh my word. You guys!! When I stumbled onto these pictures I nearly cried...happy tears!! In the August before this year, we met our sweet girl. You were so small!! I think in part due to your tube/medical need, I didn't really have it all together that year. Fancy Christmas pics were not a priority! This one is from a trip to a museum where we all crammed in a large human powered fan or something. Baby girl, you didn't get the point of selfies, but look at those cheeks! I remember how you would toddle after Mo, calling his name in your baby talk, trying to keep up in your foot braces. It seems so far away and yet so easy to remember, how can that be?
Two sweet kids joined our family for this Christmas - the girl is almost the exact same age as Colleen and suddenly I needed to learn how to do girl hair! We had experienced 4 kids in the house before, but it was the first time one of them wasn't a teen. So....yeah....we fumbled around a bit, trying to contain 4 little people and the drama that comes w/it, but I remember the baby gasping every time he saw presents, or Santa, or anything 'pretty' like the Christmas tree display at Shopko! I also remember taking you kids to the Dollar Store and letting you pick out presents for each other...so sweet. To see and hear what you thought your siblings would like and why really helped change my perspective.
This picture may look similar to the last. Our family held steady and didn't change much over the year. The baby learned some new words, the girls started sharing a room, and Mo, you happily looked out for your sisters at school. You reveled in the fact that the girls treated you like a celebrity - waving and pointing you out to their friends every time they saw you =)
Our Seventeenth Christmas Together
We moved! Literally, over Christmas break. I don't recommend it. BUT - we were sooooo excited to be in the new house that we didn't want to wait! We had another home study done on the new house - before we left the old one, we had been 'matched' w/some kids who were waiting to be adopted. We did a lot of praying and none of the cases they presented to us worked out for various reasons, some on the kids' part and some on ours. Some we felt relief about, for others, we were disappointed. Either way, we were happy to keep in touch w/the social worker and grateful they were considering us for some more children.
Before Christmas, we met a pair of brothers who we thought might be a good fit for our family! We visited w/them over Christmas break and got to know them better. It turns out it was our last Christmas as a family of 4. We continued our (1 year old) tradition of hiking in the woods on Christmas Day and that's where we took this goofy photo.
I could not let the last photo stand alone! As I said, we visited the boys over Christmas break and guess what? We took our first family (of 6!) photo!! When I got home and looked at the pics, I cried b/c I couldn't believe how good it felt to see us together. It felt like a good match - they are active and silly just like the rest of us! I felt like we were ready, at the time. One of the first weeks they lived w/us, one of the boys got mad that there were no pics on the wall of him. This was one of the first photos I put up, making sure to have as many of Bert and Ernie as the other kids.
Our Twentieth Christmas Together
By this time, Nana had moved to LaCrosse, near Auntie Liz and family, so we went over there early to check out the new house. I decided that her stairwell was the perfect place to take a family photo! Kids, remember how many takes this took?....or did you erase that disaster from your memory?....I'm not a great photographer and I'm hyper-critical of myself, so I realize now that the angle is weird (you're looking up at us!) but I was still proud of me for getting a family pic where no one seemed too washed out or too much in the shadows. Kinda hard for trans-racial families!!
Our Thirteenth Christmas Together
These special photos bring back memories! We took them after the kids' Christmas program at church. I'll never forget it b/c at one point Mo discovered they were projecting the program on the big screen behind the kids, so he got excited and started clowning around to see himself! Colleen, you just talked, laughed and were pretty oblivious to everything else. I'm sure you sang a little but it was so cute to see you up there w/your peers! Shortly after this Christmas our adoption became final and we officially/legally became parents to you 2 kids forever!
Our Fourteenth Christmas Together
Two sweet kids joined our family for this Christmas - the girl is almost the exact same age as Colleen and suddenly I needed to learn how to do girl hair! We had experienced 4 kids in the house before, but it was the first time one of them wasn't a teen. So....yeah....we fumbled around a bit, trying to contain 4 little people and the drama that comes w/it, but I remember the baby gasping every time he saw presents, or Santa, or anything 'pretty' like the Christmas tree display at Shopko! I also remember taking you kids to the Dollar Store and letting you pick out presents for each other...so sweet. To see and hear what you thought your siblings would like and why really helped change my perspective.
Our Fifteenth Christmas Together
This picture may look similar to the last. Our family held steady and didn't change much over the year. The baby learned some new words, the girls started sharing a room, and Mo, you happily looked out for your sisters at school. You reveled in the fact that the girls treated you like a celebrity - waving and pointing you out to their friends every time they saw you =)
Our Sixteenth Christmas Together
Hmmm...I found no photo again. I know that we decided to take a break from foster care and re-apply to adopt. We filled out another fat packet and requested another home study. And the waiting began all over again...
Our Seventeenth Christmas Together
We moved! Literally, over Christmas break. I don't recommend it. BUT - we were sooooo excited to be in the new house that we didn't want to wait! We had another home study done on the new house - before we left the old one, we had been 'matched' w/some kids who were waiting to be adopted. We did a lot of praying and none of the cases they presented to us worked out for various reasons, some on the kids' part and some on ours. Some we felt relief about, for others, we were disappointed. Either way, we were happy to keep in touch w/the social worker and grateful they were considering us for some more children.
Our Eighteenth Christmas Together
Before Christmas, we met a pair of brothers who we thought might be a good fit for our family! We visited w/them over Christmas break and got to know them better. It turns out it was our last Christmas as a family of 4. We continued our (1 year old) tradition of hiking in the woods on Christmas Day and that's where we took this goofy photo.
Our Eighteenth Christmas Together (part 2)
I could not let the last photo stand alone! As I said, we visited the boys over Christmas break and guess what? We took our first family (of 6!) photo!! When I got home and looked at the pics, I cried b/c I couldn't believe how good it felt to see us together. It felt like a good match - they are active and silly just like the rest of us! I felt like we were ready, at the time. One of the first weeks they lived w/us, one of the boys got mad that there were no pics on the wall of him. This was one of the first photos I put up, making sure to have as many of Bert and Ernie as the other kids.
Our Nineteenth Christmas Together
I'm not gonna lie, the first year w/the boys was a blur. The one family shot I have from Christmas is blurry - ironic, no? - and I remember it being very chaotic. It's hard to grasp how something as fun as Christmas can be so stress-inducing for people w/trauma in their background. I think it caught me off guard since none of our other placements had experienced such deep trauma. What I remember most about that Christmas was the way our extended family was there for us. They supported us, encouraged us, treated us no different than they had any other Christmas even though we were fumbling to figure it all out. We have the best family!
Our Twentieth Christmas Together
By this time, Nana had moved to LaCrosse, near Auntie Liz and family, so we went over there early to check out the new house. I decided that her stairwell was the perfect place to take a family photo! Kids, remember how many takes this took?....or did you erase that disaster from your memory?....I'm not a great photographer and I'm hyper-critical of myself, so I realize now that the angle is weird (you're looking up at us!) but I was still proud of me for getting a family pic where no one seemed too washed out or too much in the shadows. Kinda hard for trans-racial families!!
Our Twenty-first Christmas Together
Back in late 2016, a dramatic, funny, about-a-family-but-not-necessarily-for-your-whole-family type of show premiered. The series follows the lives and families of two parents, and their three children, in several different time frames. (It also includes grandkids and grandparents along the way.) There's themes of transracial adoption, anxiety/stress, relationships, struggles w/weight and infertility, parenting, grief and loss, etc. A lot of big emotions woven throughout some powerful scenes...but basically, it's the story of a family. So many people can find something to identify with and something that touches them - it's become very popular in the past 2 years! In fact, when they killed off one of the characters, the whole crock pot industry took a hit. I'm not really sure if the makers of Instant Pots paid the writers to put that in the show, but some conspiracy theorists are probably out there! (Sorry, if you didn't watch the show, spoiler alert! Chances are you could probably ask someone w/in 5 feet of you though and get caught up if you wanted. It was the hot topic of many conversations for a while!!) The reason I bring up the show, though, is that I feel like this post is an attempt to say 'This is us'. You will not find a perfect family in our Christmas post. You will not find a straight line to how we got here. You will not find only joy, but a reality that includes the gamut of other emotions. This family may not yet be complete, but here we are. Kids, after spending half our lives together, your Dad and I are blessed, proud and happy that our family includes you! Merry Christmas to you and the others that have made it to the end of this post! Here's to many more!!
We hope you enjoyed this green version of our Christmas card! (If you still wish to receive a paper copy, leave a comment.) There are lots of reasons we decided to do things differently this year (again!)...here's a few:
1) Save postage. We love you, but we're cheap!
2) Save paper. You just recycle those cards after you read them...you do recycle them eventually, don't you??
3) Save printing costs. See reason #1!
4) Save stress. Nothing to print, sign, stuff, address...
5) Expand our options! Now you can see a practically limitless amount of photos.
6) Our greeting to you is saved in cyber-space for posterity!
7) It went so well the past years...we heard a lot of positive responses, and even some people who said they'd try it themselves. Welcome to the dark (green) side! (Sorry that was a goofy Star Wars joke...)
No comments:
Post a Comment