Sunday, February 24, 2019

Merry Christmas 2018 (part 2)/New Year (Ready or not, here it comes!)

The year 2018 was full one!  I feel like it was more than one year shoved into one.  We made some treasured memories and certainly had our share of emotional ups and downs.  I think I've been avoiding writing about it...which is probably why I wrote part 1 of our Christmas post a little differently than in past years.  This part is nothing fancy though - just a simple year in review!
January - we added a member to our family!  I'm a sucker for dogs and for years would show Dave puppies or dogs on rescue sites and he'd say, "Get it."  I was the one who listed the reasons why we shouldn't get a dog.  Finally I found one that was PERFECT for us, I actually applied and we were approved, they drove her up here from Memphis and ta-da!  We're dog owners!
February - Gymnastics was in full swing for Moses and Bert but Moses also tried something new this month.  Forensics!  For those of you not familiar w/it, it's basically a public speaking competition.  Most of my 7 readers probably knew me and already knew that though - I was in Forensics growing up.  Moses did a group category and joined some girls in putting on a short skit.  They traveled to other schools for competition and at the end of the season, performed for friends and family.
March - this month brought another first for Moses.  He joined the wrestling team!  And - get this - my loud mouth cheering style wasn't out of place in the stands!!  I have always been the girl who enjoyed football, hockey, basketball...now we're all learning about wrestling.  It was a tough season, being his first, but his face when he won his first match was PRICELESS.  He knows that winning isn't what makes us proud, but the fact that he exhibited signs of progress and persevered at something he found difficult.  We also were very proud of him for cheering on his teammates and being encouraging to all.  In fact, one of the other parents commented on how much they thought highly of our son for that.  Considering that we are still relatively new here, that's a pretty good impression to be making!
April - the weather started to turn this month and we began again towards Dave's goal of hiking all segments of the Ice Age Trail.  This time w/a dog!  She is a great hiker and explorer, super friendly to anyone we meet on the trail and LOVES sniffing every darn thing.  We are making progress and hope to continue this year.
May - as I'm typing this, I realize there were a lot of firsts this past year.  For the first time since I can remember, this was the first year we didn't really plan a big summer road trip.  Why am I mentioning that in May, you are thinking...?  Because May is when baseball started.  I have 3 boys.  All on different teams.  Which means 3 diff. practice schedules, 3 diff. game schedules, 3 diff. uniforms to wash...but also 3 super excited boys!!  It rained a lot in the beginning, so a number of things were canceled.  After a particularly wet week, we got the notice that the fields were finally dry and games were ON.  I relayed the message to my boys and they huddled up, dancing, singing, cheering!!  I caught it on camera and they love watching that video!!  Another first in May was that my sweet girl Colleen had her middle school intro night.  We checked out her classes, practiced opening a locker and tested out band instruments.  She tried a euphonium/tuba, a trombone and a trumpet, choosing the trumpet!!
June - we had a visit from Nana and Dave's sister's family.  It's such a joy to see how the cousins are best buddies - it reminds me of growing up w/my cousins.  It's a real blessing when your family is made up of some people you would choose as friends anyway =)  June brought more baseball, of course, but all 3 boys gained more confidence and understanding of the game too.  We also met up w/some special family at Titletown for some fun and games!  WOWEE ZOWEE is that a neat place!!
July -  We finally got to some good camping and boating in our great state and the boys competed in my hometown's Dirty Ninja Mud Run again.  It officially felt like summer and we did our best to enjoy every minute of it!
August - Back in the day...Dave and I used to rent little cottages on a lake and vacation that way...before campers, before kids...it was nice to have a kitchen and nothing to set up.  He suggested that kind of vacation again, since the camper floor was needing repair and 4 kids - need we say more?  I worried about the price but he found a little lake house nearby.  It was an excellent choice!!  The kids loved the paddle boat, kayak, stand up paddle boards, etc...We spent a lot of time on the water!!  My fishergirl sat on a paddle board while her brothers paddled her around...the dog hung out on the deck (she's still scared of water!) and even got rides on the kayak once in a while.  We boated out to swim and played games on the deck while watching the sun set.  As we were there, I stumbled on someone w/barn cats (we were in the market since Peyton cat had disappeared months after moving in w/us) and it turned out the woman lived near the lake house!!  We packed up and picked up a kitten on the way home.  (I think we are the only goofballs who do stuff like this, maybe I'm wrong, but oh the stories my kids can tell!)  After much discussion, the new kitty was named Bucky due to the stripes on his head and our loyalty to the state in which we live.  Homer cat didn't quite take to Bucky at first but the two are fun playmates now!  And the best part is that Bucky and the dog are growing up together, so they are definitely buddies too!  A second trip to Titletown was made in August as we attended family night hosted by THE BEST FOOTBALL TEAM IN THE WORLD.  If you live here, there's a line in your baby book that says '1st visit to Lambeau Field'.  Now all my children have that line filled in =)
September - I stood up in my cousin's wedding.  She is one of my best friends and I have never seen this girl so happy!! It was a beautiful day and a the location was gorgeous.  There were lots of fancy good looking people getting their photos taken at sunset and lots of laughs later w/family and friends.  Speaking of photos - we had family photos taken by a friend!  I haven't shared them yet - we're waiting on another big event to do so, but there's one w/a chicken, cat and dog in it!  That's how we roll!
October - another great month to go hiking on the IAT.  Not too cold, not too hot...lots of leaves to admire.  We started talking about spring break and the possibility of a big trip.  Usually by the end of summer, we start getting the itch to plan future travel, so this was a little late for us.  I found tickets for $102 to our destination of choice but hesitated to but them.  I wanted to sleep on it and be SURE that was a commitment we were ready to make.  I'm guessing you know the end of this story - they were much higher next time!  So we had lots of alternate plans we cooked up...which meant some late nights talking about vacations =)  Our favorite topic!
November - One of the best parts of November is of course Thanksgiving but also participating in the Christmas parade w/church!  This year the kids got to ride on the trailer!  They took their job pretty seriously.  Last year Bert was not a fan of the dark but this year he knew what to expect and enjoyed it a lot more.
December - This is always a chaotic month but this year the weather was very unusual.  It was warmer and there was barely any snow!  For a snow lover like me, that's unfortunate.  We did get a chance to go west to visit family who had but it wasn't the same.  Still, we made gingerbread houses, painted a Christmas village, ate good food and watched various Christmas programs.  The dog got a bath!  First bath ever!  She has been dumped in the lake and what not in the past, but never officially washed.  She did pretty good, considering she hates water!  We had to wait until Jan 1 to go on our annual Christmas walk in the woods, but it was worth it.  We started the new year in the best way...


Now we're two months into 2019 and it's been a heavy year already.  When I started writing this post, my Dad was suffering from the effects of amyloidosis.  His heart was struggling and mine was breaking.  I tried to write some of this post while visiting him in hospice, but when I went back and read it, I realized my brain was on auto pilot.  He has since passed, and I have returned to edit this post.  To be honest, right now I feel a strong dislike for this year - I can't even imagine writing the next Christmas post...I love my Dad and I've always been Daddy's girl.  None of this is easy.  And to be honest, I wasn't sure I was even going to put anything in the Christmas posts about this b/c I thought it would drag everyone down.  I don't like that.  I like throwing humor around and getting people to lighten up.  But this is our real life, and not every Christmas letter is 100% cheer-filled with rainbows and anecdotes about our perfect family.   On the flip side, the joy of being with my kids and the hope of things to come keep me afloat.  We've recently celebrated another wedding, there's 2 babies on the way, spring break is a̶l̶l̶  *mostly* planned and we have 1 step left before adoption day!  The fact that I have all these good things from the past year to reflect on and then some tough stuff too is an accurate depiction of our world right now. Friends, I pray this next year includes hope and joy for you!  I am sure your life is not w/o struggles but please know that you are not on this road alone.  Let me know if you want to chat - we can share our joys and struggles!  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!
PS - I'm sorry that this year's post didn't include many photos.  I don't feel like chasing them down...I had every intention of tossing in a couple, but w/my Dad's passing, I don't think that will happen for a while.  I have some modest goals for my blog this year...beginning w/posting more often!  I already have 3 posts this year which means I have tied the number of times I posted last year - winning!  It's  only the end of Feb and I've already made great progress on achieving my goal! 

Merry Christmas 2018 (part 1)

(Once again, we are not sending Christmas cards out in the traditional way - see the end of this post for more on that...We hope you enjoy this online version! If you know the story of Dave and Mel, some of this might sound familiar.  Either way - buckle up - it's a long one!)
To our children - Since your Dad and I have spent half of our lives together building our own family (apart from the wonderful ones we came from) and since I'm a sentimental sap!, this year's Christmas post is going to be a little different.  We are about to make Bert and Ernie's adoption official (FINALLY!!!)...I feel like every time something large like this happens in our family, it causes me to look back at how we arrived at this point.  Consider this a personal history of how your family began and changed over the years!

Our First Christmas (Dating)
The first Christmas photo of your mom and Dad!  All fresh faced and carefree!  We had been dating about 3 months but that didn't stop us from joining each other's family Christmas celebrations.  We spent time in Madison too, where your Uncle Carl lived.  We took some goofy photos in the state capitol building but this is a pretty nice shot.  Would you believe that we already had a conversation about marriage at this point?  If you knew us then, you would have believed it!!  Once, I told Dad that I wanted 13 kids and he didn't get scared off.  That was when I knew he was perfect for me!! 

Our Second Christmas Together (Newlyweds)
If you're thinking, geez louise, that was fast - YEP!  Just after Christmas of '98 we got engaged and then married in the following summer!  It just so happened that we were both in school, needing to do some credits in a Spanish speaking country.  Right after Christmas we hopped on a plane and moved in w/our host mom.  Someone else stole the camera and snuck this pic of us - ay yi yi!!  Look at that hair!!!  It's hard to believe that was us...but I actually appreciated finding this photo - I take a lot of pics but I'm only IN a few of them. 


Our Third Christmas Together
Christmas that year felt like a double celebration!  I got a job right out of school too, that was icing on the cake!  It was one of my favorite times - lots of memories that are precious to me.  It was also a time of change - thinking of moving again, finding a place to put down some roots.  It was easy to think about moving during this stage of life since it was just us two!  
Our Fourth Christmas Together 
HA!  Yes I did just put those side by side - see the theme?  Another double celebration!  And more hair!!  At this point we had moved for my job and Dad's student teaching, so the future was a little less open ended.  
Our Fifth Christmas Together (First as homeowners)
This was a sweet Christmas - IN A HOUSE!!!  THAT WE BOUGHT!!!  W/help, of course...oh man, I'm telling you, Christmas in a house was a learning curve!  We brought the real tree inside while it was wrapped, so when we went to remove it, it didn't fit through the door!  I never laughed so hard...I have photos of your Dad using a saw to cut branches off inside the living room!!  

Our Sixth Christmas Together
By this point, we had found a great group of friends at church and one sneaky little lady asked us if we would be in a Christmas musical with the kids.  She told each of us couples that the others had already said yes and pressured us into doing it too!  (I'm telling it like it is, the others can testify to this!)  When we each heard the others had said yes (they hadn't yet), we said yes ourselves and lo and behold, she had all the adult parts filled!  We had to dress up and dance (I still can't Charleston!), practice our parts, and perform in front of the whole church!!  It was fantastic fun and we miss that group TERRIBLY and FIERCELY.  No regrets.  Grateful for the memories and so glad that woman conned us all!! 
Our Seventh Christmas
Well, I couldn't find a photo for 2004, please forgive me! In fact, I couldn't find many from that year at all??  Odd.  But I think it was that weird phase where we stopped printing from film cameras and started using digital cameras (or maybe our first cell phone camera?).  At any rate, they didn't print up so well and I have no idea if they are saved somewhere...*shrugs* - I plan to investigate further but in the interests of getting this post up sooner - let's just move on!

 Our Eighth Christmas Together For the first time - we shared our Christmas w/someone new!!  There is no joy quite like baby's first Christmas, am I right?  Mo, you're wearing the Santa suit Dad wore when he was a month old!  It was a lot of fun taking you to the mall and getting your photo done!  Little did we know how much our joy would increase each Christmas to come w/kids.
Our Ninth Christmas Together
I'm also lacking a photo from the next year - our 9th Christmas.  I found one pic of 'the baby' drooling while wearing a Rudolf hat, but it was clear he was teething and not a great shot.  On to the next!


Our Tenth Christmas Together


I absolutely love this pic.  We fixed up 2 rooms in preparation for foster children to join our family.  Auntie Becky's parents had some extra furniture and bedding and blessed us by passing it on.  We needed to put together a book showing potential future kids what our house looked like, what we looked like, and what we like to do.  We were so excited!!!  Mo, you kept asking when your brothers were going to come (didn't really ask for sisters, I wonder why?) and we just waited for the phone to ring.

Our Eleventh Christmas Together (First as Foster Parents)
Ta-da!  And just like that we were a family of 4!  Having 2 boys pretty close in age was fun.  There were times I'd dress you in matching motorcycle shirts or let you use drumsticks on coffee cans...then we'd be out in the yard playing w/all kinds of balls and Mo would pull the little guy in the sled.  You both loved dancing around during music time at church and testing out the piano keys.  There were twice as many presents under the tree that year and our hearts were definitely full!


Our Twelfth Christmas Together
Oh my word.  You guys!!  When I stumbled onto these pictures I nearly cried...happy tears!!  In the August before this year, we met our sweet girl.  You were so small!!  I think in part due to your tube/medical need, I didn't really have it all together that year.  Fancy Christmas pics were not a priority!  This one is from a trip to a museum where we all crammed in a large human powered fan or something.  Baby girl, you didn't get the point of selfies, but look at those cheeks!  I remember how you would toddle after Mo, calling his name in your baby talk, trying to keep up in your foot braces.  It seems so far away and yet so easy to remember, how can that be?
Our Thirteenth Christmas Together
These special photos bring back memories!  We took them after the kids' Christmas program at church.  I'll never forget it b/c at one point Mo discovered they were projecting the program on the big screen behind the kids, so he got excited and started clowning around to see himself!  Colleen, you just talked, laughed and were pretty oblivious to everything else.  I'm sure you sang a little but it was so cute to see you up there w/your peers!  Shortly after this Christmas our adoption became final and we officially/legally became parents to you 2 kids forever!

Our Fourteenth Christmas Together
Two sweet kids joined our family for this Christmas - the girl is almost the exact same age as Colleen and suddenly I needed to learn how to do girl hair!  We had experienced 4 kids in the house before, but it was the first time one of them wasn't a teen.  So....yeah....we fumbled around a bit, trying to contain 4 little people and the drama that comes w/it, but I remember the baby gasping every time he saw presents, or Santa, or anything 'pretty' like the Christmas tree display at Shopko!  I also remember taking you kids to the Dollar Store and letting you pick out presents for each other...so sweet.  To see and hear what you thought your siblings would like and why really helped change my perspective.
Our Fifteenth Christmas Together
This picture may look similar to the last.  Our family held steady and didn't change much over the year.  The baby learned some new words, the girls started sharing a room, and Mo, you happily looked out for your sisters at school.  You reveled in the fact that the girls treated you like a celebrity - waving and pointing you out to their friends every time they saw you =)  
Our Sixteenth Christmas Together
Hmmm...I found no photo again.  I know that we decided to take a break from foster care and re-apply to adopt.  We filled out another fat packet and requested another home study.  And the waiting began all over again...

Our Seventeenth Christmas Together
We moved!  Literally, over Christmas break.  I don't recommend it.  BUT - we were sooooo excited to be in the new house that we didn't want to wait!  We had another home study done on the new house - before we left the old one, we had been 'matched' w/some kids who were waiting to be adopted.  We did a lot of praying and none of the cases they presented to us worked out for various reasons, some on the kids' part and some on ours.  Some we felt relief about, for others, we were disappointed.  Either way, we were happy to keep in touch w/the social worker and grateful they were considering us for some more children.  
Our Eighteenth Christmas Together
Before Christmas, we met a pair of brothers who we thought might be a good fit for our family!  We visited w/them over Christmas break and got to know them better.  It turns out it was our last Christmas as a family of 4.  We continued our (1 year old) tradition of hiking in the woods on Christmas Day and that's where we took this goofy photo.  
Our Eighteenth Christmas Together (part 2)
I could not let the last photo stand alone!  As I said, we visited the boys over Christmas break and guess what?  We took our first family (of 6!) photo!!  When I got home and looked at the pics, I cried b/c I couldn't believe how good it felt to see us together.  It felt like a good match - they are active and silly just like the rest of us!  I felt like we were ready, at the time.  One of the first weeks they lived w/us, one of the boys got mad that there were no pics on the wall of him.  This was one of the first photos I put up, making sure to have as many of Bert and Ernie as the other kids.
Our Nineteenth Christmas Together
I'm not gonna lie, the first year w/the boys was a blur.  The one family shot I have from Christmas is blurry - ironic, no? - and I remember it being very chaotic.  It's hard to grasp how something as fun as Christmas can be so stress-inducing for people w/trauma in their background.  I think it caught me off guard since none of our other placements had experienced such deep trauma.  What I remember most about that Christmas was the way our extended family was there for us.  They supported us, encouraged us, treated us no different than they had any other Christmas even though we were fumbling to figure it all out.  We have the best family!

Our Twentieth Christmas Together
By this time, Nana had moved to LaCrosse, near Auntie Liz and family, so we went over there early to check out the new house.  I decided that her stairwell was the perfect place to take a family photo! Kids, remember how many takes this took?....or did you erase that disaster from your memory?....I'm not a great photographer and I'm hyper-critical of myself, so I realize now that the angle is weird (you're looking up at us!) but I was still proud of me for getting a family pic where no one seemed too washed out or too much in the shadows.  Kinda hard for trans-racial families!!  
Our Twenty-first Christmas Together
Back in late 2016, a dramatic, funny, about-a-family-but-not-necessarily-for-your-whole-family type of show premiered.  The series follows the lives and families of two parents, and their three children, in several different time frames.  (It also includes grandkids and grandparents along the way.)  There's themes of transracial adoption, anxiety/stress, relationships, struggles w/weight and infertility, parenting, grief and loss, etc.  A lot of big emotions woven throughout some powerful scenes...but basically, it's the story of a family.  So many people can find something to identify with and something that touches them - it's become very popular in the past 2 years!  In fact, when they killed off one of the characters, the whole crock pot industry took a hit.  I'm not really sure if the makers of Instant Pots paid the writers to put that in the show, but some conspiracy theorists are probably out there!  (Sorry, if you didn't watch the show, spoiler alert!  Chances are you could probably ask someone w/in 5 feet of you though and get caught up if you wanted.  It was the hot topic of many conversations for a while!!)  The reason I bring up the show, though, is that I feel like this post is an attempt to say 'This is us'.  You will not find a perfect family in our Christmas post.  You will not find a straight line to how we got here.  You will not find only joy, but a reality that includes the gamut of other emotions.  This family may not yet be complete, but here we are.  Kids, after spending half our lives together, your Dad and I are blessed, proud and happy that our family includes you!  Merry Christmas to you and the others that have made it to the end of this post!  Here's to many more!!
We hope you enjoyed this green version of our Christmas card! (If you still wish to receive a paper copy, leave a comment.) There are lots of reasons we decided to do things differently this year (again!)...here's a few:
1) Save postage. We love you, but we're cheap!
2) Save paper. You just recycle those cards after you read them...you do recycle them eventually, don't you??
3) Save printing costs. See reason #1!
4) Save stress. Nothing to print, sign, stuff, address...
5) Expand our options! Now you can see a practically limitless amount of photos.
6) Our greeting to you is saved in cyber-space for posterity! 
7) It went so well the past years...we heard a lot of positive responses, and even some people who said they'd try it themselves. Welcome to the dark (green) side! (Sorry that was a goofy Star Wars joke...)