TPR was granted the other day. (For those that are not in the adoption/foster care world, TPR stands for Termination of Parental Rights. Which means the kids are free and clear to be adopted! Unless a bio parent appeals. In which case it could be 1-2 years before an adoption date is given. Not that I would know anything about that...) It was sort of an unceremonious day. I walked around for a few days feeling downright heavy that someone's loss will eventually be our gain. The gravity of this situation is not lost on me. I have said it before and I will say it again - this world is a broken place and we are not living the lives we were intended to live. Yes, I am ecstatic about being a step closer to adoption, but oh man - there were a lot of waves of emotion about infertility, 'stealing' other people's kids (yes, people say things like this out loud) and the way God grafts things like trees (read about it here! Science! It's cool!) and people in families much the same way. You guys, when waves rock the boat, I drop the anchor. I really don't go anywhere (ok that's a lie, I go tons of places, taking my kids to a million appointments and activities...I put about 500 miles on my truck each week, but I don't go anywhere where I talk/really talk to people). I function in a manner that is one foot in front of the other. But I survived this round (take that!) and I have more tales to tell!
The boys had their first gymnastics meet!! Super fun seeing how Moses has progressed and improved! I was also proud of Bert - out of all the new kids, he was the only one who did not need reminders of what skills or what order they were in for each event. He just went out there and did his routine, did the events, no reminders and minimal help from coach. To be honest, I was a little surprised! Still learning not to sell the little people in my house short. They are fully capable of big things, just different things than other kids. The next meet is this weekend and then there's a break until January, I think. That's when the 'big' ones in Milwaukee start. My butt is already bleacher shaped so I've got that going for me!!
I entered my 5th decade...no I'm not 50, sheesh, how tired do I look?! Do the math - 0-10 is your first decade...I'll wait...yep, the 5th decade! If you hear Aquarius in your head right now, you and I could be besties! Again, the day was pretty unceremonious, which is how I like it. I went out to lunch w/my parents which is the best! They were there on my first day in this world so it's pretty special to be able to share another day w/them all these years later.
The start of this school year has had a few bumps. Ernie is doing great - I think all the issues we had at the end of the year are ironed out!! The school district this year decided to do a 'push in' model...for my kids who have educational needs, that means they are now primarily in a mainstream classroom setting, not the small group setting they were accustomed to in the past. This has caused great upheaval for Bert!!! Colleen seems to be hanging in there...she has such a great attitude and is always smiling! For my guy Bert, though, this is like another blow to an already nerve wracked life. Pray for him. Little dude is not adjusting well. As anyone who has parented a child who endured trauma knows, this kind of traumatic experience sends a kid right back into survival mode. It stinks for the whole family. It's sort of like starting over from scratch. In these first couple of weeks of school, I found myself saying "I don't wanna adult today" many many times! It's quite the job, parenting is....I love these little people w/every fiber of my being and I will skip all the chores in the world to be there for them. Dust bunnies? Nope we have a dust farm. Sink filled w/dirty dishes? Yep I saw that, just over here rocking my kid. My kid who is gangly and long and makes me wonder what the weight limit is on this rocking chair...? I cried when my aunt and uncle brought us this rocking chair...side note - sometimes a shower present is more than just a shower present. Sometimes it represents so much more! AND - sometimes that rocking chair takes on new meaning over time and you wind up rocking in a way or w/a person you never could have imagined back when you first considered rocking in it. Back in the day my grandparents had this double glider thing...I think I need one of those. I have tried looking them up online but no success. I'm pretty sure they don't make them anymore!! Sad face. I remember many nights visiting my grandparents and 'gliding' on that thing. I even scoured used sites! Anyway - let me know if you see one. I think I could really 'rock out' w/my big kids on one of those! (This pic is different than the style my grandparents had, but the closest thing I could find!)
We have new chickens!!! I think since last time I wrote, we have gotten 2 new batches of chickens...So there are quite a few of them now! It's sort of humorous - the new ones are really friendly and follow me even more than the other/older ones. Today a guy came to pump out the septic and left the lid ajar. He worried they would fall in! I promised him they were bird brains, but not that dumb! And if it turns out that one of them is, I sure am not going in after it! We had a good laugh!!
What else...? Garden did well...I always sort of give up on it at the end. I think peak harvest season coincides w/allergy season (imagine that) and I sort of avoid going outside much then. But I did get a ton of green beans! I didn't dig the carrots yet - should I do that now? We've eaten 2 of the 8 cabbage. The pumpkins and squash are still dark green...I think I got them in too late. We'll see. Basil needs to be picked and processed. Maybe this weekend? I already pulled out dead stuff like the peas and random brown greens. Overall I am ecstatic that the garden cage worked! Every year is a learning curve for the next, but now that I'm set up, next year should be smoother.
I've been going to youth group w/Moses and just yesterday jumped into bible study again. I missed that! We'll see how it works to shove extra stuff into my busy days but can I just say how weird it felt to be kidless and talking to other adults for an hour?? Scratch that - not weird - AMAZING!!! I am so scatterbrained and all over the map most days, not really tending to my own soul, so this is good for me.
Well I've got a few more posts started in my head...hope to write more soon!
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