When?

Yesterday Moses had a wrestling meet.  My Dad came.  Dave dropped Ernie off after school so he could cheer Moses on too.  It was in the back gym, not the big one.  There were metal folding chairs set up.  I sat between my Dad and Ernie.  It was loud since the chairs were right on the edge of the mat.  Parents cheering, coaches yelling, kids screaming at their teammates...you get the idea.  Ernie was so excited to be there!  First match - he asked all kinds of questions about why this guy is doing that, why that guy has those shoes, why it's in this gym...you get the idea =)  Second match - he asked if he could color.  I offered a pencil and suggested we look for paper in his backpack.  Nah!  Clearly he was already bored. 

"When am I going to be adopted?!" he said, annoyed and seemingly out of the blue.

I was caught off guard.  I shouldn't have been, for various reasons.  Bert is usually the one who asks that.  A lot.  Often.  I'll never forget how early on we were out in the yard, when Bert took his shoe off and threw it at me b/c I wouldn't adopt him already!  Bert and I have a lot of conversations about the steps to adoption and why it's a long process.  We talk about how I would adopt him RIGHT NOW or even YESTERDAY or maybe even BEFORE YOU WERE BORN!!! if that was possible.   Sometimes Ernie is present for these conversations.  Sometimes he is not.  Usually Ernie is 'meh' (as the kids say) about all this adoption stuff.  He seems indifferent.  I know that is not entirely true but even if it was, that's totally ok, acceptable and understandable.  At any rate...I should have seen it coming, but maybe not during a wrestling match like that. 

As I moved on to answering the question, in the middle of a loud wrestling meet, it seemed like time slowed down.  You know how in a movie, the stuff around the edges goes slower and blurrier while the center scene is in real time and full focus?  Like that.  There's probably a cinematic term for that, but I don't know it.  Anyway - it was one of those moments.  I sat between my Dad and my son, while another son was across the aisle in wrestling gear and I tried to explain life, the complicated foster care adoption system and my heart.  My momma heart that aches and loves and beats for my kids.  Life that is crazy and dumb and awesome and contains moments like this one where God is present and real and we just have to hold on and hurry up and wait.  'The system' that says it's for the kids but it's the kids who get a raw deal b/c, well, just b/c it's a system and not necessarily the solution.  All that.  I tried to explain all that.  To a kid.  A kid.  When I feel like a kid myself.  I wanted to turn to my Dad, my Dad who is going through his own stuff but is, still, and will always be my Dad, and I just wanted to be a kid again.  A kid.  A kid who doesn't have to explain all these things.  A kid who believes she can do anything, be anything, fix everything....thanks to her parents.  But I also love that I get to be the parent.  I love that I get to do what I can to convince my kids of those very same things. 

(Just to keep things in perspective, I have been told that nobody wants to be in my family mere hours after being asked about adoption.  This I understand too.  This is 'normal' for our situation.  This is what makes our world turn.  But those moments make the above described moments even more sweet.  And blog-worthy!) 

A roo-roo-roo!

Winky face!

Hi!  My name is Bailey!  I'm new here.  I had a long ride all the way from Memphis!  My Dad met me and my driver in a Walgreens parking lot...I was pretty overwhelmed but happy to have the big guy drive me to my furever home!  It was a long drive to my house but they had a kennel ready for me and some toys, food and water bowls.  The next morning there were all these little people!  I could not wag my tail hard enough!  They were a little loud but then all of a sudden Mom went out the door w/them and came back all by herself.  We had a pretty good first day together.  When I went out to pee, I noticed that they also have these funny looking dogs here.  I think they live outside.  I didn't see a kennel for them or any food bowls either.  They're kinda furry and they say meow a lot, especially when they're hungry!  There's also these other things in the back yard...not sure what to call them. 

They are all different colors and make some really loud noises, like they are freaking out!  They flutter around a lot but this one they call Reba sure likes me.  Sometimes Wynona comes over to say hi too.  Those girls need to tell their friends that I'm cool b/c sometimes they get a little excited and run away.  I just want to play!  I'll make friends w/them yet!
Since I've been here, I've gone on a lot of walks.  Did you know they have water here?  Once I went down there and it was LOUD - but it looked like fun!  Mom says we can go swimming when it's warmer.  She said I would like camping too - whatever that is.  I've seen this 'camper' thing and it looks like a little house!  On wheels!  That's crazy...anyway - all this activity and making friends w/the little people wears me out sometimes.  Sleeping is good.

The other day Mom took me to my first vet appointment.  There was a nice lady who put out a few crumbs of treats and then she put cheese on the wall!  CHEESE!!  She kept trying to put this black thing on my back but I wasn't having it.  I was smart and waited until she left the room to eat the cheese.  The vet came in and he talked to Mom about ticks, food and the little people.  It was a good day but I came home and took a nap since I was tuckered out.

I've also been to puppy class.  There are all these puppies there w/their Moms and Dads and a really nice couple who is helping us play together.  Mom tried to get me to lay down for a treat but um, hello?  I don't do stuff like that on the first class!  I learned a lot from my previous foster parents and Dad says I'm really a good dog.  I don't beg, I listen well, I have only jumped on the couch once!  My foster family was so nice to teach me manners!  I love people and dogs too.  I'm even starting to like the little furballs that live outside!  At puppy class, I licked every dog there.  I just went around the room and licked 'em!  The big dogs liked it, some of the little ones tried to hide but my tongue still reached them.  The teacher said I did a good job.  Mom laughed and said that I was a wet bandit.

Recently I stayed over at the vet.  I was sore when I came home and I had an owie on my belly.  Mom won't let me run much, she said it's not good after surgery.  Things w/that were going pretty well for a while but then today - UGH!  Today she took me back to the vet and this happened!!

Yup, that's a cone.  This dumb thing keeps getting caught in doorways and seriously restricts my ability to easily lick people and other dogs!!  I did discover in the wet snow today though, that if I put my nose down to sniff, when I lift up my head, I can scoop the snow!  Then if I come up fast enough, I can actually toss the stuff I scooped!  I tried to catch that and Mom kept laughing!!  Scoop, toss, jump, scoop, toss, jump!  This cone is annoying and it doesn't come off when I scrape at it w/a paw, but it is a little fun in the snow.  Just don't tell the vet I said that, ok?  Mom tried to get a video of me playing but maybe next time she'll have a little better control w/her bad arm. 
Anyway - I thought I would introduce myself since I'm sort of a big deal around here!  I'm super friendly so if you see me sometime I will demand to greet you and probably lick half your face off, just so you know how much I love friends!  I'm happy to be part of a furever family now and the coolest thing is that I'm not the only one here who was in foster care and adopted too - some of my little people went through the same thing.  If we're not a match made in heaven, I don't know what is.