A feast for a giant!

DAY 5

Today Colleen ate 2oz of yogurt in a tube, a 1 oz bag of cheesy puffs (Pirate Booty!), 3 Fig Newmans, a mini bagel w/lots of cream cheese and she drank 8oz of whole milk w/chocolate 'breakfast powder' in it!  I am thankful for that - and the fact that she also drank 4oz at breakfast and ate a cup of cereal for breakfast!  There have been some 'off' days since we were on vacation and she wasn't feeling well, but today?  Today was a good day of eating and drinking =)  I am also thankful for Andre the Giant.  I know, weird, but if it wasn't for me googling him this morning (I wanted to know why/how he died), I wouldn't have remembered how my family used to watch wrestling (the soap opera kind!) and then tease each other...I am pretty sure it was just mostly my brother who watched wrestling, but somehow we all knew enough of the characters.  I remember being in FL one time, on a family vacation, and being silly and laughing about wrestling each other.  I often wonder if my kids will remember things like that!  It probably won't be wrestling though...!!  The other thing I am so thankful for is a son who loves music and frequently makes up silly songs (a la Veggie Tales) on the piano.  "There was a man, named Chulupagus, oh yes...he liked the Indianapolis Colts...and I can tell you, he was a hundred feet tall...do you know how much he weighed?  Well, a hundred pounds...was just his ears!"

(published late...so it may appear out of order...)

The sounds of the season

DAY 10

I am grateful for cough drops.  And honey.  I am not grateful for the lack of sleep caused by the sound of others coughing!  I am grateful to be able to play nurse, though.  Hopefully, later I will be able to say that I am grateful for a nap...

I'm not going to waffle anymore.

DAY 9

(Hang on...I ramble a little, but I think you'll get the point...)

Today I am thankful for my infertility.  

(Go ahead.  I'll let you re-read that in case you think you misunderstood me.)

I guess I should clarify that, yes, we do have one child who was born to us naturally, so I agree that it is not a complete infertility.  But before he was born, we did lots of tests and all that and we know of at least one reason why it is not easy for us to have more children naturally.  If you don't already know the story, you're just going to have to believe me that we are certain that the arrival of our son Moses is a miracle performed by God...I am thankful for Moses, in so many many ways!  

Over the years I have gone through many emotions about my infertility.  Confusion, anger, guilt, talking about it, not talking about it, being okay w/it (fake), ignoring it (impossible) and letting it defeat and define me.  I'm done w/all that.  

I have been going through an intensive study of 1 Peter.  I have been doing my best to get up early earlier every day so I could pray and read my Bible.  This is the 3 or 4th time I have attempted this challenge and so far it has been the most successful.  Have you read this book of the Bible?  There's lots of good stuff in there!  So far I have found many verses that have spoken to me, but here's some that really keep rambling in my head.   (I've highlighted some words...I think you'll see why.)

³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴ and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, ⁵ who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. ⁶ In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷ These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Verses 6 and 7.

You know, I am not a patient person.  I may be reading this all wrong here, but I am pretty sure I just read that there is something big and really special waiting for me.  Whatever is going on down here, heaven holds something really special for me.  I can choose to walk away from God, be impatient and angry, wallow in my infertility-ness or I can choose to rejoice, praise, give glory, etc...I can be faithful, just as He is.

So I'm done.  No more pretending to be okay w/this.  No more acting like it's not an issue.  It is!  And it's more than okay.  B/c I know my God has the best thing in store for me, and even if I suffer grief for a while, I'm going to thank Him.

Thank you, Father!

Thank you for drawing me near to you, Lord!  Thank you for all those nights my husband and I just held each other.  Thank you for the miracle that is our son!  Thank you for the people we have met through the foster care classes.  Thank you for the children who have touched our lives, even if for a short time.  Thank you for our sweet adopted daughter!  Thank you for the adoption and foster care contacts we have made, both near and far.  Thank you for opening our eyes and giving us a chance to serve.  Thank you for my infertility.

(ps - please do not misunderstand me in thinking that I do not want to get pregnant.  If God delivers such a gift again, I will receive it w/great joy and dancing =)  Also, please do not think I have given up hope on that, but understand that I am thankful for where I am/we are on this journey.  It's been a long road.  Also please don't think that I'm upset at my pregnant friends or those that are adopting - I love you ladies (and your families)!  I am truly excited for you even though it may be hard for me to rejoice w/you sometimes.  And like always, if any of you want to talk about this, you know I could talk a blue streak about infertility, foster care, adoption and all that...I'm willing to share or listen.  Thanks for reading my words.)

A purposeful web

DAY 8

Today I am thankful for the connections we have made in our community.  Thanks to the recommendation of a friend's dad, we have a mechanic we trust and appreciate.  Just today he put a new fuse in our brake lights for free!  I am thankful for the former student who does my hair and took our family pictures.  I am so blessed knowing we have friends who are police officers and fire fighters - they've answered lots of our questions about the community and other issues we need info on.  We've been maintaining relationships w/people in other local businesses and fields that have proved useful.  A high school classmate who lives in town did some masonry work on our house and we would recommend him to anyone!  We've had carpenter friends do work on this house, we've had friends give recommendations for other needs and we've certainly enjoyed and learned a lot from the company of other teacher friends.  

Just push on

DAY 7

(This is a day late....)  Yesterday I was thankful for stuff that does the work for me.  The dishwasher, washer and computer were all humming!  We washed sheets and a load of dishes.  The computer allowed me to communicate w/people cheaper and more efficiently (in my opinion) than the phone.  I am also thankful for hair dryers, curling/straightening irons, lamps, the furnace, the toaster, microwave, stove/oven, fridge, freezer and even the TV.  There are lots of other things in this house that do not use electricity but still help me do the work and I am thankful for them as well.  There's the laundry lines in the basement, the drying racks, the can opener, the towels, stamps, the little people and my husband!  

The tiny farmer

DAY 6

Today I am thankful for my garden boxes on the front lawn.  It is Nov 6 - we have no snow (just a tiny dusting that melted quickly the other morning) and I don't think I'd call the ground fully frozen yet.  I have 2 garden boxes still open - one contains Red Russian kale and the other has curly kale and Brussels sprouts.  Almost every week I try to make spinach pie.  Since the kale is so prolific and I need to make 2 pies each time (I probably could make 3 and we'd still have no leftovers!), I have been adding kale.  I'd say that last time the pie was 60% kale and 40% spinach!  Again today I was out in the misty, gray, 40 degree weather cutting kale!  I am so thankful that I can do that.  What's for dinner?  Hmmm....look out the window...what looks good?  =)  I am also thankful today for my friend Tracy, who was the first one to introduce me to spinach pie.  Back then, I really didn't think a meal was a meal if it didn't have a hunk of meat in it somewhere!  Now, we easily eat 3-4 vegetarian meals a week and we are so much better for it.  But I think spinach pie is the most favorite for everyone in my family!  

Say Cheese!

DAY 4

So much to be thankful for today!  One year ago today, we accepted the current foster placement of 2 kids that are still in our house - Curly Sue and Dewey.  A month or so before that we had made plans w/one of Dave's co-workers.  She does all kinds of photography!  We were really excited to be getting a professional picture taken of our family...but then that weekend we got the kids and we went from one box of mac and cheese to two, a half-full van to an all-full van, one cart of WIC stuff to three, maybe one load of laundry a week to I-should-really-be-doing-three loads a week.  Needless to say, our family was happy but a little crazy that weekend!  So of course we canceled the photo shoot b/c how could we ask the co-worker to suddenly wrangle all of us in our new state of chaos?  I must tell you that I was pretty sad.  I know the costs of foster care (I don't mean financial) but I guess it had never crossed my mind that family pics would go by the wayside.  In the foster care circles we joke...You know you're a foster family if every year there are different kids in your family picture!  It's easy to laugh about it and we enjoy having them each year, but the fact that there was going to be no family photo was like getting hit w/the Grinch stick, you hear what I'm saying?  Anyway - (you're wondering where the thankful part comes in, right?  Hang in there...!) this past week, a former student of mine (the only person who is allowed to touch/cut/style my hair!) who also does photography sent me a message saying that she was doing a day of photo shoots on Saturday and would we like to come?  

*STOP RIGHT THERE*

Did you catch that?  Let me help you connect the dots a bit.  One year ago to the day, we took this foster placement and canceled a Saturday Nov. 4 family photo shoot.  Today, Nov. 4, TODAY!, we were able to get all sorts of family pictures taken!  God bless that girl, I don't think she even gets how huge this is!  God used her to bless us in a really big way...I personally think it is NO COINCIDENCE that this all went down one year TO THE EXACT DAY.

So I am so very filled w/thanks today!  Thankful for the bond Ms. Chang and I forged as a teacher and student.  I have no idea why, but from the day I met her, she was more like a friend than a student.  I mean, let's face it, I wasn't that much older than my high schoolers anyway.  But I watched that girl sing, dance, cheer, grow and mature, find her life-mate, cut my hair and just go through life.  She shared things w/me and I shared w/her.  Today I am thankful for her friendship and also thankful she is willing to serve my family in this way.  I am thankful for the timing.  I am thankful for these kids - all 4 of them - and their smiling faces!  I am thankful for my friend's fiancee, who is super supportive and involved.  He was so great w/the kids and he was right!  The squeaky bathtub duck is the best trick!  I am thankful I will have some no doubt gorgeous pictures of my family to hang on the wall, to share w/family and friends and also some pictures of the foster kids to share w/their birth family...I once heard the saying that doing something kind is like throwing a pebble in a pond.  The ripples that of happiness and further kindness spread out farther than we could imagine!  That's a perfect example for this situation...