Monday, October 26, 2015

Exploding snakes

Sometimes life is boring.  And then other times, one or more chain of events are set off and it's like those fireworks that look like an exploding snake!  Always, always, I feel like I am adapting and changing my 'shape' to do what is necessary.  Summer is over.  School has started.  At first I was thinking we would just slide into a new normal, but!  It wasn't meant to be.
     As the last days of summer wore down, it was clear one of Dave's co-workers (also one of my former co-workers since he now works at the school at which I used to work) wasn't going to be there the first day.  It made sense for me to jump in and take her classes - which meant I had to get a sub license.  (That is territory I didn't want to get into.  I don't want to sub.  If you know me, you know I say I am retired.  I don't want to work outside the house!!  The feelings I feel when I do make it not worth it...)  I really wanted to do it though, b/c it would give me a chance to see the best husband in the world during the day =) and to meet some of his students.  Things went well!  After the 2 days, I went back to 'my normal' of doing chores and running errands during the day.  I even unpacked a few boxes!  (Yes, they linger…no, please don't remind me that it's been more than 6 months in the new house!)  Anyway - we were finding our rhythm of having 3 people in 3 different schools…it was a nice quiet Friday, and then I saw the phone # of Mo's school pop up on my phone.  Most mommas and even some daddies who are home during the day know that feeling.  You automatically ask yourself if someone could be sick or what could be wrong…I answered it.  I was sitting in my jammies, eating breakfast, thinking whatever it was, Mo would have to wait until I could at least finish the cereal.  It turned out to be the principal, asking if I wanted to sub…(see?!  This is why!  I don't want 'them' to find me!)  I said yes - but I'd be late.  I scrambled to get ready!  I ran to let the chickens out!  I flew into town!  As I burst in the door, the principal caught up to me to ask about subbing for a 3 week stretch...I always said the only way I would sub was if it was like for someone's maternity leave or something where I could be in one spot, not bouncing around to a new school or room each day.  So yeah, since life is 'boring' and $ is always nice...she got me.  I said yes.
But back to the rest of the day...what a sweet sweet day it was!  I was in the 1st grade class.  Last year I spent most of my time as an EA w/the kindergardeners, who are now those 1st graders.  At the end of the year, I was always telling them, "Soon you will be in 1st grade and they won't give warnings about talking in the hall!  Soon you will be in 1st grade and you will do tricky math!  Soon you will be in 1st grade and..."  I was able to tell them how excited I was to see them in 1st grade, following the rules of the school and doing tricky math!!  Halfway through the day, life got more interesting.  I normally don't make it a practice to answer my cell phone when 'on the job', but I do admit to glancing at the screen to see who is calling.  (Side note - the week before we had seen an adoption profile of 4 siblings from our own county!  We considered their behavioral description and ages and asked to be considered.  We felt excited that IF IF IF it was meant to be, the transition might be made easier since they reside in the same county as we do.)  On this particular day, the caller ID was that of our adoption case worker.  Feeling a twinge of guilt (but thinking it was about the kids in our county and feeling some excitement too), I answered it, vowing to play to anyone's emotions if I needed to later issue a mea culpa.  As it turns out, the CW was calling about a different profile, one we had seen way back in Aug.  Two sisters from another county - their CWs wanted to do an interview w/us!  W/a confused look on my face, I set up the interview and hung up.  That boring life I was referring to earlier was getting a lot less boring!!
     Fast forward to Monday.  Colleen and I took off for an appt at the children's hospital for her heart.  Another follow up...this time about high blood pressure.  That's a story for another time, but the point being that we are going back again in a month.  The mystery hasn't ended and we may be in for more complicated measures.  This Monday was not boring since the last time we were there, we were in a car accident.  Understandably so, Colleen wanted to be sure we would not drive on the same road, lest we encounter problems like last time.  We talked about doing hard things - and then we did the hard thing of going to the same intersection and praying and praise God we did not get in another accident.  Both of us breathed a sigh of relief =)
     Tuesday I started my 3 week time in 2nd grade.  I forgot how much energy the little people can suck out of you!!  But my day didn't end there!!  I came home and changed like superwoman to head out to the banquet for the crisis pregnancy center.  As I sat in my chair, listening to the speaker, it was hard not to get choked up.  Almost 4 years ago I went to an informational meeting about a possible crisis pregnancy center in my town.  I knew I wanted to be involved.  I had to be.  I felt so timid - I am not generally one to speak out about politics, my faith, etc.  I just wanted to be someone who would support and cheer them on, spread the word and maybe offer a few ideas...but I have since gotten more involved than that and I don't regret that for a minute.  I am being stretched, yes, but in a good way.  This is so important to me!!  I don't want my whole life to go by and say I did nothing to show for that.  As I sat at the banquet, it was hard to believe that the ideas that were presented at the first meeting were a reality.  The center has been operational for almost 2 months.  It's a real building, a real place, there have been clients already and God has done some amazing work already.  I blinked back tears as I realized that one of my big life goals (to be a part of a crisis pregnancy center) had come to fruition!  As you can tell, I could probably talk about it all day.  But that's just part of what's going on...
     Wednesday started out and I patted myself on the back for actually not repeating some of Tuesday's silly mistakes.  My personality is such that I am flaky, head in the clouds, the 'old dog' who is not easily taught new tricks, so I'm proud of myself when I get even the small things right!  After lunch is prep, and the principal came to check on me.  Remember what I said about 'them' finding me?  I'm teasing of course, but I didn't expect what came next, although I should have.  She asked me to sub for another long stretch in the spring!  Now that I think about it, I hope my face was know what I mean?  When someone asks you something and your brain is off and running and thinking all these thoughts...hopefully all the emotions and feelings weren't showing up on my face!  I said yes.  Obviously I told her that we'd have to re-visit this decision as it got closer, but I'm not against it.  Again, I'd rather be subbing in the same place, with the same class, every day than bouncing around between schools.  If you know me well, you know I'd rather stay 'retired' and just work at home - for various reasons, some emotional, some practical...
     Life is moving fast these days, to say the least.  Last week Friday was the all school field trip.  Luckily it was to a museum I know well and I was pretty successful navigating the crowds.  I only 'lost' 2 kids for a very short time!  We were about 15 steps away but I still beat myself up for 'losing' them.  Overall though, it was so much fun!  We took a group picture before we left in the morning with a shot of the museum on the smart board.  (Yeah, this 'old dog' is learning some new tricks after all!)  I told the students we would send it to their teacher - a 'wish you were here and we miss you' sort of postcard =)  We took selfies at lunch and talked robots when we returned.  It was a good way to end the week!
     Not to be outdone by the week, our weekend was busy - in all I think we were home about 6 hours, awake time.  We still managed to do a few chores and get ready for this week.  I might need to hire a maid before these 3 weeks are over though...not sure how anyone can work, sleep and still get the house work done!!  I'm not good at it when I have 8 hours free during the day, let me tell you how much of a failure I am when I am gone all day...oh well.  I am learning to not be hard on myself.   This is a learning curve.  I am adapting and changing...a work in progress...thanks for reading this far.  I have wanted to do a 'day in the life' type of post and when I sat down and thought about it, I couldn't just stick to one day.  So much has been happening and this is just the short version!  New chickens, new to us vehicles, gymnastics meets, appointments at the children's hospital, getting involved in our new church, and so on...!  I'm so grateful to see changes and growth in life and I've very thankful for the supportive family and friends who are cheering us on from the sidelines and helping out when they can.  Thank you all for your prayers and for your patience when I am not responsive to calls or texts!  I'll be back to 'regular scheduled programming' soon!

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