Friday, February 18, 2011

P is for Protest

There have been protests in our lives on a global, state, local (in house!) and personal level this week.  Citizens of Egypt took to the streets in the name of democracy, citizens of WI have congregated outside the capitol building to express their opposition to a budget bill, my daughter continues to stage her food protest and my muscles protest the fact that I have been working out again!  I feel like everyone, everywhere is at odds w/each other!
(I do not wish to begin a debate here.  I do not like politics, but that doesn't mean I don't learn about them.  I am a teacher (just not working in a school right now) and I do have an opinion about all that, but I won't share it here.  So don't bother leaving a comment about that.  Thank you!)
Anyway - I was thinking today about all these protests and of course the one that affects my personal daily life the most Colleen's protests when it comes to eating.  So many times people ask us what is wrong w/her since she has a G tube and she does not move as easily and strongly as other kids.  She walks/runs w/a really strange gait and struggles to use play equipment that should be easy enough.  Just the other day we were at the mall and someone asked how old she was.  "Wow, she's really small for her age!"  Um, yeah.  You would be too...!  The fact that people comment doesn't bother me.  The fact that we don't really have answers bothers me!  (We know nothing of her family's medical history.)  Believe me, we've done all sorts of allergy tests, medical scopes, blood draws, XRays and MRIs.  Nothing.  Clear.  Yet her progress is slow.  Not enough.  Concerning.  Despite all of our progress w/the feeding team and our efforts to help her feel secure and safe when eating, we're still pretty much where we were a year and a half ago.  I don't like that - my mind races down rabbit trails to find something, some kind of answer when people ask what's wrong.  The other day I found info about sensory disorders.  (You can find answers for everything on the internet!!  We always joke in our house that there are no mysteries anymore.  I'm not saying the answers are all correct, but if all you need is an answer, you won't be disappointed!)  Back to the sensory disorders.  I found 2 that fit my girl to a T.  So now I am armed w/more questions for the therapists.  Maybe this avenue will take us somewhere we can settle in and make progress.  Maybe not.
So many times in life, there are problems we can't fix.  Small children who have lived a long life in only 3 years time, family members who live away from us get sick and we can't help them, state budgets we can't balance, global conflicts we can't resolve...however, we can choose our attitudes.  I tried to remind myself and others about that as I posted this for a status:
Today I'm reminding all of you to choose love. Many times we feel like we cannot change the things in our life or we have no other choice, but we can choose our attitudes. Choose love! Work on loving and respecting those around you and I promise your day will be better!
I choose love.